Last Friday I overcame all obstacles to actually find a way to use “turd” in a headline and this week I upped the ante. Just trying to shake it up a bit at the end of the week. Isn’t that a more interesting headline than “The five biggest Twitter mistakes?”
Actually, this headline is not mine. It comes from a blogpost from the rock band Trucker. I took a wrong turn on the Internet this week and landed on their website. Good thing, too, because I learned some valuable lessons on how to freshen up my writing style.
Here are some of my favorite passages from Trucker posts and my thoughts on what we can learn from them. Follow my advice and YOU TOO CAN WRITE LIKE A ROCK STAR …
Here’s another one of their better headlines: “WE GOT DICKJACKED, PT.2”
Lesson: I have no idea what this is about, but I’m going to read it. I also will probably tool around until I can find Part 1. Effective headlines make such a difference.
“Is it gonna rain? Get bitterly cold? Will your kids be safe leaving the house or are we all going to have a great opportunity to get drunk and hit the pool with our dogs tomorrow?”
Lesson: Just talk to your readers. It doesn’t have to be a PhD thesis. And any post about dogs is almost always going to rock.
“Unless you bastards and basterdets change your approach to giving us the information I hope each one of you is out of a job and end up on welfare.”
Lesson: Don’t be afraid to be controversial and take a stand. It’s also fun to make up words.
You need to quit drawing so much attention to yourself, lay low brotha. Your teasery used to be for the entertainment of Grandmas who like your attention. But guess what, Grandmas got the intertubes and she has had it with your shit too.
Lesson: Don’t write your blog when you’re drunk?
That might be jumping to conclusions, but fellas, you lost me with that last bit. Maybe it’s not that important. Once you’re famous, content doesn’t matter any way. Remember that artist who hung a toilet on the wall of the Museum of Modern Art? Once you make it, what you make doesn’t matter as much.
Thanks to Trucker for this lesson in effective blog writing. Next PBR’s on me boys.
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