Blurring lines between business and family on the social web

Dec 3rd

One of the questions I hear frequently is, “Should I have one or two social media accounts for family and business?”

My strong recommendation is that you keep family and business separate. The information needs of your family are going to be much different that those of your clients, right? Why clutter customer feed streams with news of family dinners and disclosures about your husband’s snoring? On the flip side, why bore grandma with re-tweets from the Wall Street Journal?

The argument I’ve heard against this is that you should simply be authentic and talk about whatever is going on in your life. I’m hoping most social media participants are growing beyond this naieve and simplistic view of the channel. Nobody in business really wants you to be “authentic” if that means disclosing every little fact of your life. I think a more accurate and practical goal is to remain “open and honest” in your communications.

Another argument against the complexity of two ( more) accounts is the risk of confusing accounts and disclosing something personal on a business account when you thought it was a family account.

Still, I’ve found the best strategy is to keep it clean. Respect business accounts by minimizing the family details. That’s not to say you shouldn’t be personable and refer to family details on a business account, and by all means establish multiple accounts (if you have the time!) and enjoy all that the social web has to offer.

Thinking I’ll have a few arguments about this one?

Illustration: Christy Tanner

best practices, business relationships, social media, work/life balance

http://www.linncommunications.com Michele Linn

Mark,

No arguement from me on this. I am constantly telling my clients that they need to have the prospects/customers in mind with the content they create. If they can’t answer the question, “Why do I care?” from the perspective of their audience, I argue that is content not worth including (or in need of re-framing). In my opinion, the same principle holds true for social media: always have your audeince in mind.

As an example, my brother-in-law joked that my tweets were boring. “Of course they are to you,” I said. “You’re not interested in B2B marketing.”

I also love the way you mention “authentic” should mean “open and honest.” I think this distinction helps a lot.

My approach is similar to what I know others do: I use Twitter and LinkedIn for business and Facebook for family/friends.

Great conversation – looking forward to other perspectives.

Michele
http://www.twitter.com/steve_dodd Steve Dodd

Totally agree! Business contacts don’t care (nor do I want them to) about my personal life and I don’t necessarily want to know about theirs. My “friends” aren’t interested in my business and that’s good because that allows me to separate from it.

Should a “business acquaintance” become a “friend” or vice versa (any many do) then they will follow me (and I’ll follow them) at multiple levels and totally respect that relationship.
Mark

This topic came up in my class today and it semmed to make sense to the students, too. Thanks for chiming in!
http:nmc.itdevworks.com Neicole Crepeau

I’m 100% with you on this one, as well.
Jonathan Sherman

I completely agree. People have business and personal cell phones. If you combined two social media accounts (business and casual) I think censoring what your “casual” friends may say/post about a fun night out or an insight joke would be crucial. Really, why take the risk?
http://mybrez.com Brezr

Agreed, with a few exceptions (mostly public figures).

But the real problem lies is in your transparency. A quick search for a person’s name will bring up both sides, unless you choose to make up a name for one. If so, is that “right”?
http://www.mltcreative.com Martine Hunter

Agreed 100%. I’ve chosen to keep my facebook account completely personal, not even my co-workers. I also have another more personal twitter persona. It’s authentic because I’m genuinely different with my friends and fam than with colleagues and professional acquaintances. That’s the reality. Before social media, never had to worry about being “dual.” Left it at the office.
Mark

@Martine Interesting how much our life has changed through a little technology. We’ve split ourselves in two. : )
http://www.linkama.com/ Kimmo Linkama

Then again, EVERYTHING you do online will stay searchable forever. That’s why I think people should think twice before publicizing anything potentially embarrassing about themselves.

As far as transparency goes, I really can’t see anyone being transparent enough to boldly advertise themselves, for example, “a stellar investment broker and a wife-beater”.

The point being that we always choose what we want others to know about us. It happens in real life all the time.

Choosing is also polite to your audience: as many people above already said, if you’re online for business, it doesn’t make sense to bore your readers with irrelevant details.

Decide why you have a presence and then stay on topic.
http://www.jonbuscall.com Jon Buscall

It’s important to keep a clear distinction between work and family, even in this era of social media. However, sometimes an annecdote or comment about family life can be relevant to business life. This is where I think there is a greyer zone and it can be a nice way of being more transparent. For example, Darren Rowse occassionally mentions his child on ProBlogger and I don’t find that undermines his credibility.
Jim LeBlanc

I agree with Jon. A little disclosure goes a long way toward building trust.
http://marismith.com Mari Smith

Awwwww, Mark – have to say a picture says a thousand words and this one is just adorable!! I don’t have kids myself, but if I did I’m sure they’d be tweeting before they could talk. haha!!

I often make 3 distinctions regards what to share: Personal, Professional, and Private.

As you point out here, the lines between our personal and professional lives have become blurred. In fact, they are often inextricably linked. I find the more nuggets of personal life that are shared, the more our communities connect and relate to us.

However, anything at all you’re not comfortable with being found in a Google search, on the front page of the NYT or proud of your kids/grandkids to see in decades to come, then just don’t share it anywhere in public.

My one caveat of when to bring the private into the personal/professional category and share is when there is an incongruence in one’s life… almost as if you’re living a double life. This happened to my earlier this year when I went through a personal relationship transition and finally blogged about it from the standpoint of how to be transparent in the social media world.

I’ve heard some peeps say that sharing about family, hobbies and travel are the three main categories of personal lives that we can all relate to in one way or another.
http://www.sallykuhlman.com SallyK

Maybe it depends upon the kind of business you are in but I agree with Mari. I think it is okay to mix business & personal and yes there is a difference between private. If something should be private don’t put it on the internet anywhere.

I’ve actually gotten clients because of comments I’ve posted on Twitter or Facebook that they felt connected with and those comments had nothing to do with business.

I want to work with people I like. If I’m transparent that happens naturally. If someone doesn’t like my postings they probably are not going to want to work with me, but if they do like them and feel a connection and need my services they are likely to want to work with me.

Being the same person in business and personal life is important to me. I don’t have two different persona’s, I am who I am and so far it has worked out just fine for me.

I remember when Mari blogged about her personal relationship, I thought was very brave and it made me respect her even more.

Thank you for your post.
http://sharonmostyn.com Sharon Mostyn

Mark, like several of the people who have commented, I also keep Facebook as my personal (and professional contacts who have become friends)social media vehicle and use Twitter, blogs, etc. for more professional interaction. I also completely agree with Mari’s comment that if you don’t want something potentially on page 1 then don’t share it. Post responsibly – social media is great as long as it’s used wisely.
http://www.businessesgrow.com/blog Mark W Schaefer

I’m still experimenting with personal disclosure and the business of social media. I took quite a risk (for me) and announced my wedding on my blog: http://businessesgrow.com/2009/09/05/the-most-important-social-event/

I did it because I care about my audience and I think they care for me and would want to know about a life event such as this. I didn’t get much feedback on it one way or another, but for me it felt right. I guess I’m still developing my social media “instincts.”

All great thoughts and comments! Thank you!

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Blurring lines between business and family on the social web

Illustration: Christy Tanner

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