Before I convince you that Guy Kawasaki is the devil, let’s look at his secret identity as described in his “official” bio.

Guy Kawasaki is a managing director of Garage Technology Ventures, an early-stage venture capital firm and a columnist for Entrepreneur Magazine. Previously, he was an Apple Fellow at Apple Computer, Inc. Guy is the author of nine books including Reality Check, The Art of the Start, Rules for Revolutionaries, How to Drive Your Competition Crazy, Selling the Dream, and The Macintosh Way. He has a BA from Stanford University and an MBA from UCLA as well as an honorary doctorate from Babson College.

Impressive.

The man could probably get a job anywhere.  And yet his chosen occupation is Twitter Tormentor as he pays a staff of people to blanket us with tweets like:

Guy Kawasaki GuyKawasaki

The wild and rampant sex of flowers http://u.nu/8c578

How to sell socks http://idek.net/1Qlh

How can sugar explode? http://idek.net/1Rav

How to make a shrimp from a bendy straw http://idek.net/1OuI

How to reprogram your brain in 5 days http://idek.net/1OVl

Booty-popping frogs. Eat your heart out Beyonce http://u.nu/6k28b

Guy’s content is like a never-ending game of Trivial Pursuit and he somehow lured 253,758 people into his private world of tweet hell.  Why Guy, why?

The truth!  Do you have a plant sex fetish?

Why is it so important to teach us how to sell socks?

Shouldn’t you be doing something more important than bending straws into crustaceans?

While this constant barking on my Twitter stream is somewhere between annoying and obsessive, I can’t look away.  I’m under his spell.  Is he REALLY re-programming our brains? Is it that impish, Bieber-like smile? Could it be the frog booty?  I don’t know, but damn you Guy Kawasaki!!  Damn you for being the most eclectic and confounding personality on the tweet stream!

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