OK, we’ve heard all the great business success stories about connecting and learning through Twitter. But the human race is made up of all kinds of people and some of them have more important things to do. Like hooking their toilet up to Twitter.  I started collecting some of these random (and real) uses of Twitter and thought I would present this amusing list to my dear friends on {grow}.

Did you know Twitter can help you …

Tweet with vampires — The Twitter account @vampires will let you follow the adventures of the undead. Bloody great idea.

Befriend lactating cows — A dozen lactating bovines are hooked up to a monitor so you can read their teats er … tweets … after they’ve been milked by a robot.  The cows at a Buttermine Farms near Woodstock, Ont., has more than 2,000  tweets since the project began in December.

Tell secretsSecret tweet allows you to post your secrets to Twitter anonymously.  Here was mine: I am writing this in the nude. Which means I probably broke some law in Singapore.

Rock out – Here is a list of the top 50 rock stars on Twitter.  The list includes Brittany Spears. I doth protest.

Let your pets make friends.  — Cats on Twitter is a site where cats can meet other tweeting cats and of course there is also the companion site, Dogs on Twitter.  There is one cat (@sockington)with over 1.5 million followers on Twitter.  Cat tweeting is apparently serious business. Really makes you take paws.

Water your plantsThis device helps your plants tweet you when they need some H2O. When will  they make one for beer?

Be random — Twitrand lets you generate random tweets from your tweet stream. Why?  Why any of this really.

Learn the rulesThe rules is a hilarious Twitter account which teaches you the rules of life in no particular order.  Today’s wisdom:  Rule No. 537: No speedos, please.

 

Get breaking news on Cheetos — I hate the orange stuff it leaves on your fingers but that doesn’t seem to bother Chester the Cheetah who tweets about a Cheetos wedding, the world’s largest Cheeto, snack impersonators and other tasty tidbits.

Watch the world poop — Everybody does it.  So of course somebody had to put it on Twitter.  TwttrPoop tracks the whole world pooping in real time. They should have called it Twitter Shitter right?  If you thought Twitter was a load of crap, well … now you’re right

Monitor a toilet — You had to know this one was coming. The HacklabToilet in Toronto has a Twitter feed.  Hacklab is a site for hackers in Toronto with a “a strong disdain for twitter” and an urge to wire things to the internet.

Say hello to PeeWee Herman — Hey, he has a new Broadway show now so let’s see what’s up with the ever-boy. Captain Carl rocked.

Follow an execution – In what may be the most distasteful use of Twitter (well, maybe tied with the poop thing) the Utah Attorney General announced the progress of a prisoner’s execution over Twitter.

Track the activities of Superheros — Holy Hashtags Caped Crusader!  You can now follow  Batman (my personal favorite), SpiderMan, and Superman on Twitter.

Get advice on brasYour bra consultant claims that most women are wearing the wrong sized bra. I swear I had no idea.  So don’t be a boob — tune in for the web’s best bra advice.

Tweet while you driveFord announced they will produce a range of tweeting vehicles. The special app will allow the drivers to read their Twitter messages (huh?).  And you’ll be able to reply to tweets as a voice-activated function.

Secretly watch Steve — The Twitter bio description of the ShhDontTellSteve account:  “This is a Twitter page where I secretly tweet about what my roommate Steve is doing at all times.”  Hilarious.

Find people who are addicted to shoesHere is a list of shoe freaks on Twitter.  A well-heeled group apparently.

Read headstones@FindAGrave reports quotes from famous headstones each day. I wonder if they have ghost writers?

Follow your cat’s every move – Sony has developed a prototype cat tweeting device that has a built-in camera, an accelerometer, and a GPS so you will be able to tell when the cat is moving around, eating and sleeping.

So there you have it.  For better or worse, all the world’s showing up on Twitter.  Hope you had some fun with this list!

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Illustration: Geek and Poke
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