Awesome as ever, Mark. I laughed reading your comment about Alyssa Milano–recently, I just about had a heart attack checking Woopra when I saw the surge of traffic to my little old blog. I found out Gary Vaynerchuk had posted a link to my little review of his new book (mainly because I somehow ended up being the first he’d seen). I laughed while it was happening because I was thinking, This is neat but will have no lasting effect whatsoever on my blog. And I was right! Glad to hear I’m not alone. You’re rockin it–if you used to engage more with people, I can’t imagine how.

Thank you, thank you, for this little nugget of wisdom on a Sunday afternoon. Everyone is so focused on how Twitter can make them discoverable, but in my opinion its greatest value is in what it allows you to discover. I have learned and been inspired by so many articles, blogs and videos on Twitter that I would never have encountered otherwise.

I guess I’m wondering why Dave cares about getting the attention of the “big name social media marketers” in the first place? Though I confess, I fell victim to similar urges in the early days of my blogging and tweeting career. It wasn’t until Steve Rubel declined my Facebook request three years ago with a politely worded “I don’t FB friend people I don’t actually know” message that I realized I was barking up the wrong tree. Now, three years later, I’ve been a perfectly respectable online community based on mutual support, reciprocity and personal connection. They might not be Brogan and Kawasaki but they’re all VIPs to me.

Ha! Too funny. It’s fun to see happen any way, even though ti typically doe not make a difference. Thanks for your kind words, William!

Beautifully said. That is such an important point Katherine. Twitter is my every day university. SO MUCH interesting stuff. Thanks for your comment.

What a fantastic comment Stephanie. And I think you answered your own question : ) The social web is such a confusing and daunting place. It’s natural to look for leadership and in my opinion, leadership is sorely lacking. So the best thing is to carve your own path. Thanks!

I’d say who cares if the social media elite ignore you…and ask..

Why are you tweeting and RT and commenting on blogs anyway?

For recognition or acceptance? Get a life!

It’s like receiving automated tweets or being followed by folks who want to sell you stuff…
or re-tweeting a blog or story that you haven’t read. It’s all a bit hollow and you’re just chasing numbers.

Mark as you put it…. ‘There is no shortcut to building a blog community. You have to work hard and create your own movement one reader at a time.’

If you’re just chasing numbers then it will always feel a bit superficial..if I get one quality response from someone who wants to engage, then it all feels worthwhile. Most of often this response won’t even be online…one of my micro tribe will send an email or even better pick up the phone.

Why I am taking the time to comment on this site ?

The Grow community has a ‘good vibe,’ ….the content and tone of the conversation keeps bringing me back. Always worth the visit. All the best.

This may sound crazy, but it all boils down to this for me: Stop trying to get, start trying to give. All the big bloggers share this as a tenet, yet for many they were so far ahead of the pack that when social media got all big in the britches, there were no other bloggers to follow. The elite were elite because of the market, not the blogger. Now there are thousands of us. I have found that the more I share, the more I get back. Honestly, commenting (here, or anywhere) is more about sharing my two cents than hoping anyone reads this and starts following me. If they do, that’s fantastic – the comment is a common denominator. If not, I don’t sweat it.

As for hard work? Yep. Very hard. But worth every connection I have online. I consider a few top bloggers as acquaintances. But I consider several dozen as friends – much more than a passing tweet. I attribute it to sharing what I think.

That is the most powerful and encouraging comment I have received in a long time Steve.

Here’s another good reason to comment on blogs — for the money. : ) I have fomred countless business relationships with people from my blog community. Over time, those weak Twitter ties turn into stronger connections on the blog that lead to phone calls, meetings, and collaboration. Happens all the time. Blog rock.

Thanks again for this very validating and uplifting comment!

Hey Mark: I’ve been blogging (hard) for just a few months, but come from many years of professional writing, and on-line activity. My point? I don’t even KNOW who “elite” bloggers are.

I think the “Social Media” community gets way too caught up in itself (ourselves). This is all “meta-blogging”, don’t you think? At some point, blogging about blogging is just not that important or interesting.

I agree with your advice to build content & value…. I’d add: guest blog when you can and focus on an audience that is not already saturated with celebrity. If you are counting on re-tweets from brand names, it may be because your own brand is not adding anything unique to the conversation. Start by picking a new niche!

Thanks for the insight.

Amen brother Mark. Amen. This is a real issue and I find that advice big bloggers give out whole sale doesnt work on smaller scale. Times they are a changing and what worked 5 yrs ago is no longer effective.

Awesome comment. You certainly get it and I hope I’m in your “friend tribe!” Glad you enjoyed the illustration. I have fun with those. It makes blogging just that much more challenging! : )

Don’t get me wrong–a happy heart attack!

You picked a great one there. Gini is a constant inspiration to me. I have learned a lot about blogging and video from her. I have yet to meet her in person but think that will happen in 2011! I’m delighted you are commenting here Bill. The comments are always better than the orginal post and you are proof of that fact!

You kiddin’ me? Yes, you are a friend!

Mark, your last paragraph is the secret sauce. You have to start somewhere. Find that niche with some other newbies and it will grow over time. Nice post!

Brilliant as usual Mark. Let me embellish a bit. First Dave, you should appreciate that Mark is an A-Lister himself, though he might not admit it. Either way, you have reached him and he’s engaging with you right on his blog and lots of his readers are too. (Now, what was that problem again?)

I remember thinking like you did, Dave, it’s natural, but it’s important to realize that if the social web has any value, then certainly one of its biggest is that WE ALL GET TO DECIDE WHO’S AN A-LISTER TO US, AS INDIVIDUALS, and who isn’t. It’s a huge mistake to think that the most famous, most popular are orders of magnitude more important than anyone else based on their audience size alone. We all should drop this obsession with numbers and volume. That’s an old mass media/retail way of thinking that’s not really appropriate to the social web. For one thing, it removes the notion of authority and subject matter expertise. There are plenty of A-listers I wouldn’t trust to change the oil in my car or run a bake sale. I mean, you should be evaluating them based on their areas of expertise–not assuming they’re worthy of your attention in general. And guess what, that’s what you should do with everyone. Remember that relevance thing? It’s relevance to YOU, not the other way around.

As Mark says there are lots of high profile people who are very generous with their time, but it’s just impossible for them to talk to everyone who wants to talk to them. The numbers are against them. My advice is build yourself your own community of interest. Go find people with the same interests as you, and follow them and engage regardless of how many followers they have. If you do I think you’ll be pleased with the results, and you may even attract the attention of some higher profile folks once in a while. You’ve already proven it works.

Thanks, Ingrid. I like this idea of your own personal A-List. That’s the spirit of the socialweb in action isn’t it. I can wait to read your blog post. Thanks for the wonderful comment. I appreciate the time and care you put into your engagement!

Well said Jenifer. I have also had that experience. Thanks for joining in the dialogue!

Thanks for sharing your heart on this Erica. You’re doing an awesome job on your blog. I am fans of all you name here but I do not believe that i Have checked out John’s blog yet. I know he has commented on {grow} a few times and I need to get to know him better based on your recommendation. Love the way we make new connections like that! Thank you!

I’ve been blogging since 07, made some friends and many acquaintances with “A-listers”, all are nice, a small number have unintentionally become vain & proud of their status or high subscriber/follower count. In the long run, a desire for fame, recognition and so on is a fruitless pursuit that just leads to an attachment to outcomes. My advice is to focus on the process of how blogging can make you think more critically, learn your trade & unique interests better, and use these lessons as case studies for clients. Screw the social media generalists, find your own particular niche discipline & industry and focus the mf hell on that. I have as well as others, and it’s made us smarter and speak more confidently on that passion we have (that’s now just better directed)

The fact that I was able to pick the brains of some of the very best people on the blogosphere and I was able to add my comment to their posts and met other people along the way has always been good for me. Although I appreciate it if they take the time to reply to my comment, I put them under no obligation to do so. In the blogging community, good things will come to those who work at sharing the love and wait…and wait…and wait.

- Wes -

I am just starting out too, and all I do is show up every single day and be myself. I have made some incredibly great connections, and I am very grateful to have meaningful exchanges with some of the people I have in my “tribe.” I have attracted some very nice followers on Twitter, and I would like to think that part of the reason is I have not been pushy about it. I have been active on Twitter since about November and so far have almost 225 followers.

I joined a blogging group on Facebook that has led to me making more connections with other bloggers which really has been fantastic for me in terms of not only learning, but encouragement.

I read and comment here everyday because Mark makes me think. He also is one of the kindest, most gracious people ever. I emailed him with something and he replied to my question that day. His answer was exactly right too!

I have new blogs in my inbox this morning because I just look around and see what is out there. That is how I found this blog. That is how I found my personal A-List.

Thanks for pointing this out. I like Dan’s work but find that he might not always apply common sense to the Interpretation of the data. Critical thinking is a rare commodity on the social web to begin with. Thanks for bringing this up.

Agree Wes that patience is certainly a virtue around here, especially when building a blog. In my book I articulate a path of success that includes surrounding yourself with targeted contacts, providing meaningful content and being authentically helpful. If you do that, and exhibit patience, you certainly will accrue business benefits. Thanks for your comment Wes.

Thanks for the comment. I have read everyone and am glad to hear things from your prospective. Mark’s post and his comments have given me the excuse to be free and to build a following “one reader at a time.”

It’s great that you stepped up and asked the question that many others were probably wondering about any way. Thanks for your contribution to the community Dave!

What great advice Mark. And so much truth in “touching the hands on the front row” I am by no stretch an A-lister yet I try to keep the people I follow manageable – though that is quickly becoming hard as I meet sooo many great people. A constant “juggleathon” showing them the same twitter love as before with Retweets/DMs/@. One thing to remember is that every @/RT is a seed. They see you. You may have to plant, water and fertilize many seeds before a bud peeks out – even then you still have to tend to it for it to grow.

Another thought I’d add is that expectations get us every time. We can’t expect others to dance to our drum and react the same way we do, or EXPECT them to. We gain so much more when we reach out to collaborate, share, learn and form genuine relations because we’re interested in what they say than if we go in with ulterior motives. Even though just 140 characters people can detect ulterior motives. My advice would be — don’t use their (unintentional/intentional) slight to trip you up. Instead take it and use it to fuel your own train to being a big name! My train only has one car! *wink*

nnnnn

This is a great post Mark!

I agree with your sentiment of some of the reasons people seek the ‘Elite’ out. But I have found often the Elite are wrong in their views and beliefs regarding Social. So I am ok with what is going on. Meaning the rock star talking head image helps their bank accounts more than businesses, brands and people. In my view significantly. Over time this will change when more studies and less success is shown. But because they cultivate this following of people who pay to see them speak, read their blogs and pay for their books, it is the price of fame. 45% of the population is suckers by DNA. It takes a lot to un-sucker them. But they will get there.

Plus technology is changing mighty fast. The Rock Stars who had insight to use Twitter and Facebook and Fanboy Generating vehicles might not be as successful when we migrate or fracture into new platforms.

I only read 3 or 4 of the AdAge 150 top 50 blogs. I don’t follow the Brogan’s or Solis’s on Twitter. I find the real value elsewhere. Just like I don’t listen to Britney Spears, Kanye West or Arcade Fire. Music for the masses to me is watered down and weak. I want a Picasso on my wall. or a Banksy. Not a Thomas Kinkade. To each their own.

Are people upset they went to see Kanye in Concert and he didn’t come into the crowd and shake everyones hand? They need a dose of reality.

I just realized I commented before reading your comment Ingrid. Now I need to go back and make my comment longer!

Dino how much do you charge to write copy? You condensed my comment above into 2 lines. I think Ingrid and I need lessons.

Mark–

What’s interesting is that despite your hat tip and link to Dave and his desire to get noticed, he hasn’t participated in this conversation. He had a golden opportunity to engage with people who have strong opinions based on the length of the comments and he’s hiding under a rock waiting for the next top blogger to find him. Based on this behavior, he doesn’t seem very motivated to do the work of building his blog or a following. At a minimum, he should have stopped by and thanked you for mentioning him and getting the link. (BTW, that’s just poor manners.)

Happy Marketing,
Heidi Cohen

An interesting post and enlightening exchange via the comments have given me a lot to contemplate this Monday morning…

I am admittedly not an active Twitter engager, and I only subscribe to one blog. There are a number of reasons for this:

1. My perspective on social media is different than 90+% of the active thought leaders because I don’t focus on the external applications of social media like marketing and sales. There are few people who regularly address the intra-organizational applications and implications like I do.

2. My “target audience” is social media rookies in multiple disciplines/industries, not fellow advocates. Even as a relative unknown, I face huge time constraints, so I have to pick and choose my information sources as wisely – and widely – as possible.

3. I want to offer unique insights, and I worry that if I read other thought leaders’ ideas too much, I could inadvertently share their perspective as my own. That may sound odd, but it’s true.

4. This signal/noise ratio on Twitter is not manageable for me. When I first joined Twitter I followed a bunch of people, and the activity level and the drivel drove me nuts. I had to unfollow them all to get any work done and have some piece of mind!

Which brings me to my biggest concern, which is related to the ideas discussed here but hasn’t been explicitly raised: in-group/out-group effects. I have never been particularly focused on being recognized by the elite, but I have noticed a clique effect in numerous circles – even those that may not be official A-listers. It’s seems there’s a set of normative expectations for how people should engage with each other (particularly via Twitter), and if you don’t do abide by them you’re somewhat ostracized as being “uncool.” Since I skirt the edge of several of these cliques, it’s always a bit uncomfortable to interact with the people in them.

No matter how you define your tribe, it might be a good idea to remember to keep the boundaries permeable and not become too closed. As with any form of networking, you just never know what new opportunities can arise when you meet someone new.

It’s also probably a good idea for us all to remember that the vast majority of professionals are still social media rookies and have no idea who any of us are – including the elites!

Now time for me to return to toiling in relative obscurity…

Courtney Hunt
Founder, Social Media in Organizations (SMinOrgs) Community

Just Me, what I found was that if you look outside yourself- for finding an original voice you will-well not be original.

You are correct there is a lot of repetitive conversations swirling around online, that happens when a collective communicates. The thing is everyone has a slightly different way of saying it-whether it is in the voice, their language or their writing style.

I make room knowing that each style will attract it’s own reader. That weird personal thing that happens in life when we hear same message but in a slightly different vein that now resonates for us.

Why would you care if an A-lister-elite (in their mind) eat you up? It is an illusion. We are in the time of “One Person”. One person has a powerful effect when they are willing to own it and stand in that essence.

It is the internal negative conversations and fears that cause us to doubt our own “One Person”.

Is it easy, heck no. Maybe a better question would be “Is is worth it?”

Remember the Emperor Had No Clothes? Who will be willing to call out when they see the evidence? It happens in every area of life-social media too!

Mark is it fair for us to hold anyone out and judge them by our perspective? I agree with you-Grow your own tribe. It is in our looking at others tribes that we hold ourselves in judgment.

Thank for starting a great conversation.

He responded several times below as Doulos Marketing. Thanks, Heidi!

Excellent post!

Some great advice here Mark and spot on in my opinion. Your A list bloggers didn’t get where they are at by being douchebags. On the contrary, they got there by pouring themselves into the lives of others and serving up value on a consistent basis.

I’m just getting started on blogging seriously, and at times I get overwhelmed with giving the blog community what it deserves and running a business. This is a tremendous amount of work to say the least!

I’ve had great success building community by connecting and building relationships with up and coming bloggers like Marcus Sheridan for example http://www.thesaleslion.com/. @Dave Wellman – Plug into this community in a meaningful way and watch what happens.

Read the comments on this blog, check out the quality people here and I think this may just be ‘one’ answer you were looking for.

Not to take anything away from you Mark. I come here to learn because you “get it” big time. But, as with all rising stars and thought leaders, time is just not on your side and I just appreciate the feedback you provide, time provided, and the insightful posts you consistently crank out.

Good stuff Mark – cheers to you!

Excellent post! As a newbie blogger, I have no idea if anyone’s even reading it or not. I’m still in the stage of trying to work out all the WordPress bells and whistles just to get the thing optimized for SEO, and then promoting it on my own through social media. I’m still working on the static page thing.

Hi Mark,

As Jenn and others say, great post! This is a topic I often think about as I look to “establish myself”. You make good points and I think you are correct when you say that it is important to build your own following. “Online Fame” is something many seem to strive for but I agree that it could be better to be recognised by a smaller group gaining value from your postings.

Can I ask, how many posts on average would you say gives a startup blog enough content for it to be taken to the next level of promotion? Or do you think it is a question of time?

Thanks,

Michael

http://about.me/mike_trow

twitter @mike_trow

Just thought of something else, too. I am hardly the SM elite, and yet, if you use the Twitter-style RT to RT me, I don’t see it in Hootsuite. I’m missing you!

I came to this post via @NealSchaffer, so I suppose that makes me a new member of your tribe. A nice down-to-earth post that among other things asks: does size really matter in social media? Trick is, size is so relative. I’m reading through 80 comments thinking, hmm, this post was a home run. Others might revel in such numbers. So perhaps you measure your success by the company you keep, and from the engagement here you look to be in good company.

Maybe I am missing the point or value of belonging to the “cool kids” clique, but isn’t there a whole bunch more people that are not Social Media Superstars than there are Social Media Superstars?

Wow Heidi that seems awfully harsh since I have been in the conversation from the beginning. My name is Dave Wellman, my blog is http://www.doulosmarketing.com and my “handle” here in Mark’s comments is DoulosMarketing and my frist of several comments was posted an hour before you wrote this.

I was looking for help, Mark was gracious to provide it and I am grateful to everyone who has sought to help. Sorry you missed that.

Mark – I want to take time to thank you again and all the members or your “tribe.” The comments have been great and I have learn way more than I could have ever hoped. I am following new people, have a whole new group of blogs to make a part of my regular reading, and hope to make my way through the noise to a place where I can help others coming up in this industry the way you have helped me.

All I can say is thanks again for your kindness and that of your tribe!

Dave Wellman
http://www.doulosmarketing.com

If you want your blog to be a success, you’d be better off taking the time you’re investing in “influencer” outreach and spend it on SEO. Influence is subjective and fleeting. SEO is objective and mostly permanent.

Not to be presumptuous, but from my personal experience (not being social media elite, but having the size of my audience grow a bit in the last few years) I can also tell you that having a big online audience doesn’t always translate to gobs of money. I stay fairly isolated from the people who ReTweet me, comment, etc., because I’m working with clients trying to earn a living.

When I get to the end of my day, I’ve got two kids to focus on. If I have energy and want to get back online at night, I only have a few hours to get work-work done (meeting with clients most of the day is insanely counter-productive, if you ask me), so the time to engage and interact is minimal.

I keep up as much as I can, but it’s just not possible to get ‘em all.

And I don’t consider myself to be anywhere near the Kawasaki/Brogan/Vaynerchuk stratosphere. Maybe one day, but until then, I gotta earn a living.

Just read an article about Gary V. on Inc’s site talking about how much time he spends steeping in the conversation.

This guy is a beast! He lives and breathes tweets and pixels as can be witnessed in his response to the people who engage him on facebook, twitter or ustream or wherever else he’s lurking. But this guy, when I saw his presentation at Tony Robbin’s Ultimate Business Growth seminar hammers home the fact that you’ve gotta work your face off if you want crush it.

No easy street, auto-pilot, B.S. from Gary.

Most people aren’t willing to work as hard as I believe Gary does. This would be one reason why some guru’s won’t get back in touch with followers. The other part is if the guru can sense the follower is just totally lame and trying to “Get” instead of “give/offer” some kind of value to the guru themselves or the their readers.

Another factor is how much work it takes to run a successful site. If the guru has a team helping, then there’s no really no excuse for not keeping a feel for the pulse of the market. If they’re a one or two man show, I totally sympathize with the overwhelm factor that can set in, and yet keeping your finger on the pulse of the market is what’s brung you to the dance and will keep you there.

Thanks for the awesome post and advice!

great post, Mark. I could not agree more

This is a grat point Jenn. That’s why in my book I recommend that new folks put some time upfront in finding interesting and relevant people to follow. In fact I recommend shooting for about 200 becuse if you have less than that, it is going to be pretty boring … especially if one of the people you are following is ME! You rock! Thanks!

Boy this would make a great blog post in its own right and you bring up a lot of interesting points. The great thing about the social web is that there is constant renewal. Yes, there are some great orginal voices out there. I would start with the four folks who are regular columnists on {grow}, Stanford Smith, Neicole Crepeau, Srini Rao and Sidenyeve Matrix. I invited them to be regular writers because they are among the most original thinkers anywhere and they deserve to be heard. There are LOTS more out there who I would love to have as paid contributors if I could afford more. I guess it’s like Thurgood Marshall and porn. He said he would know it when he saw it. Same with orginiality! Keep loolking. There is a lot of good stuff out there! Don’t despair. Thanks for the great comment!

You’ve opened up a big topic there. I actually think the social web is about the most un-democratic institution around. I used to (naievly) hope and believe that it would be a great leveller, but that is not so. It amplifies extreme personalities. Gives undue power to spammers and SEO tricksters … perhaps over extremely great work. Any way, that will have to wait for another blog post : ) Thanks for your cotnribution to the discussion!

Thanks for the thoughtful comment Michelle. To answer your question, I don’t like the repetitive conversations because they are so often wrong. Here’s an example. One very well-known company put out research with absolutely no statisitcal validation. In fact they were making a claim in one case based on the feedback of TWO respondents. Complete trash. Ad yet this study was re-tweeted 600 times. It was blogged about and discussed as if it were a fact and significant new contribution when in fact much of it was hooey. The lack of critical thinking on the social web is shocking sometimes, but again a refelction of society in general I guess. Thanks!

Amen. Brilliant comment. Nothing I could add. Thanks!

Love this. I wrote about this topic two weeks ago: On Twitter No One can hear you scream: http://www.businessesgrow.com/2011/03/08/on-twitter-no-one-can-hear-you-scream/

I agree totally that blog communities are where the action is! I have made more friends and connections on my blog in two years than in the last 20. Thanks Mimi!

I don’t think there is any absolute number when it comes to number of blog posts, it takes to be succcessful, but I do think you need to have critical mass. You can’t just blog once a year and expect to build a community. I would shoot for at least once a month, and then try to build up from there to maybe once a week. I think the most important thing is your voice and content. If you focus on connecting with people, delivering meaningful content and being authentically helpful , you will fine! Hoep that helps.

Glad you found us here Joel. I suck when it comes to assigning goals to the blog. As logn as it keeps going in the right direction I’m happy. You’re right in that the community is the benefit. Every day is like Christmas. All these little gifts to open! Thanks for yours!

I guess it depends on how you define superstar : ) Since just about everyone on Twitter is a social media guru, you could argue the other way too!

Exactly. Why didn’t I think of that? Perfectly said Jay.

I ended up writing a whole response post to this because my comment turned into a dissertation, but the first thing that jumped into my mind when I read the first part was “If the comments they’re leaving are like half the comments I see on fancy social media people’s blog and just say “Excellent post” no wonder people aren’t getting back to them. If you’re not leaving something that gives the person something to respond with other than “thanks” then no wonder no one’s getting back to you.

With that said, I’ve had Chris Brogan and Guy Kawasaki tweet me before, and while it led to immense amount of traffic to the direct post they lead to, the vast majority of the traffic didn’t really explore or stick around. You’re much better off finding people who are smaller and in you’re field and partnering with them.

EeeeeeeK! I wasn’t sure how to respond to this…

My first thoughts as I was reading was, “well, yeah, I’ve retweeted you and I add a “witty” comment here and there… Did you get back to me? No! Did others follow me from it? Hmm I don’t think so! But I continued reading this blog and see you explain yourself by saying “I am succumbing to an inexorable corrosion of engagement like everyone else. Some people probably think I’m ignoring them.” So, I forgive you ;o).

“Why does the world need another suck-up regurgitating the same old blog topics week after week? How many social media sycophants have gone on to stand out and create distinct value for their readers?”

I particularly liked this paragraph. Afterall, much of what we see is often reposted either by the author or someone else (lol I guess that would make sense). What I mean is, someone I started following on twitter recently, she’s a life coach come SM type person, anyway, she did a really good blog that I enjoyed and in fact I did retweet. However, about a week or less later, she tweeted it again, then again, then again… I really don’t like that and although I haven’t unfollowed her, I don’t read her really anymore.

I’m still in the early days too, but I read what the “top” guys have to say and some I agree with and some I don’t. I also wonder how the people doing all the blogging and tweeting etc about SM make any money at all – when do they find the time to put their sage advice into practise for clients??? )

My main point though is, I’ll be your pal, Dave!! We can suck up to each other, if ya like!

well as per my post today, make sure you credit the idea when you use it Glad you liked the comment. As I told Jennifer, your posts inspire!

Stunning post Mark, particularly your middle part on “in the wrong places”. Building a community means to build it with likeminds in my view. Calling on the big boys for this might not be the best place to start. I would rather like to call on those I can help and whom I can grow together with. The big boys will always come eventually, I am sure

Thanks for a great inspiration to start my day. You know where this post will end up now , speak soon again here Mark

Thanks, Lou.

A-ha! A tribe member for Dave! Thanks Rosie! And thanks for providing the good feedback too.

The money thing is a tough one. Blogging takes a lot of time and the comments take more time than the blogging ; ) But at the end of the day, I have realized wonderful business benefits from blogging and amazing connections.

On the thanking issue, you know I used to thank every single person who re-tweeted one of my posts. Then as the volume grew, that practice became annoying in people’s Twitter streams. I got complaints. So I stopped. So you can blame the Twitterverse for me being so impolite! Again, it’s a balance isn;t it?

Thanks for provising such a thoughtful and well-written comment!

Thanks, Mark.

I see in the response to Leslie Joy you mention celebrity tweeters. When I first was on twitter I followed quite a lot of celebs. After awhile my view of twitter became tarnished as all it seemed to be was a celebrity playground where they tweeted to each other but us lesser mortals, while trying to engage with them, became ignored.

Of course, I can see that their feeds would be inundated with comment, so, replying to each is too difficult. But then I thought, why am I even interested in this person, so I had a cull and got rid of them all apart from the lesser celebs that had, at some time or another, the good grace to acknowledge me (lol that sounds a bit pompous… memememememe!!!)

I can also see what you’re saying about how your feed would look to thers if you just thanked folk. But you thanked me, and that’s what counts!

Mark, So much learning and knowledge came out of this stream for me yesterday – big picture and tactical. I feel like the covers have been pulled off and the douchebags can no longer hide! (One even stopped by!) You have inspired me to write that post and have renewed my interest in finding my voice (and others) amidst the din. And to have found so many great people to follow and start my “left column”(Thanks @KRCraft!) – just awesome!

Thanks so much for your kind comments. Sounds like you’re working on your own take on this? Look forward to it!

I’d love to talk offline, Mark. I often feel like I live in a “tribe of one” : ), so it’d be great to connect.

If you have time before we chat, you can get a sense of my perspective by visiting the SMinOrgs website (http://sminorgs.net), and particularly by reviewing Parts 1 and 2 of the Social Media Primer I’ve been developing (links to both blog and SlideShare versions are accessible via http://tiny.cc/SMinOrgsPrimer). SMinOrgs addresses external applications too, but that’s not our primary focus.

My contact info is on the website. I look forward to hearing from you.

Great article, Mark. It can be a difficult thing to have the patience required to create original content and doggedly put it out there, but as you say, you can’t count on Twitter mentions from Charlie Sheen to do much for you.

It took me well over two years to build my personal sports blog up to the point where it was pulling down the kind of traffic I wanted, but by putting the content out there and engaging I made great friends and built a community. At the end of the day, that’s what’s important.

I needed this, Mark! Thank-you!!

I’m trying so hard to keep up with everyone (I manage more than New England Multimedia’s social media!), I’m getting overwhelmed. Last night I was watching “Up” with our daughter while I tweeted, commented on blog posts, replied to comments, and caught up with a few folks on Facebook. She kept asking me to look at this scene or that, and I was getting crankier and crankier!

I needed someone like you — who I genuinely look up to for many reasons (see “Organizations I Believe In” over on the right) — to set me free from the expectations I’ve put on myself.

It takes effort and it takes guts to yourself out there too. It has been worth it for me and it sounds like it’s been good for you too. Good to hear. Thanks for commenting.

Well said. I know that you aren’t the first to say “Stop trying to get, start trying to give.”, but it’s such sound advice….and so needed by so many.

MARK,

Greetings from rural Australia.

Loved this post.

You’re spot on.

I’ve NEVER benefitted from social media stars or Twitter stars who retweet my posts.

For example.

At the SocialMediaExaminer’s Blog Summit earlier this year, I sent a chat note to Jessamyn West asking her to please pass on to Denise Wakeman my admiration for her. At a pre-summit session, Denise inspired me to take my blog more seriously.

In my chat note, I also included a link to my blog.

To my utter surprise, Jessamyn not only read my note out at the end of her session, but also included the link address to my blog.

Not one person came to visit my blog.

Ditto for a Twitter follower who has 11,000 followers. He’s twice retweeted my blog posts.

One retweet drew 2 peeks at the post. And that was it.

I’ve come to realise, as you so poignantly point out, that people follow you because they feel a connection with what you have to say. Or what they can learn from you.

Everyone is so over connected today, they no longer surf aimlessly for blog posts to read.

If a post strikes a chord, they pay a visit.

Where do I get most of my traffic?

Some come from comments I leave on blogs. If my comment resonates, people will come to have a look.

Some come from friends in my Twitter community.

But most come from my customers. My tribe.

My database is extensive and every email to them has a link to my blog. Because I have a personal relationship with just about all of my customers, they’re inspired to visit. Some subscribe. Others just revisit. 30 or more times!

And I’ve built up my following just as you say. One visitor at a time.

If someone resonates with your blog, they’ll come back for more. Just like real life. Friends are the men and women who respect each other and who want to stay in touch.

Social media is hard work. And over hyped!

I came here via a link from Michael Stelzner. And am so impressed with this content, I’ve subscribed.

Lovely to meet you and I look forward to staying in touch.

Best wishes and take care,

Carol

Carol Jones
Director
Interface Pty Ltd
Designers of The Fitz Like A Glove™ Ironing Board Cover
http://www.InterfaceAustralia.com

Ironing Diva’s stories are at http://bit.ly/TheIroningDiva

Well glad to have you aboard Carol. Sounds like you have had a similar experience to me (and many others commenting here!) Look forward to your contributions to the community!

Terrific post. Your wisdom applies to more aspects of life than just social media. Once the marketplace “gets” you and your gift (whether it’s a product or book or service or cure), the elite will find you. Think of those who worked at their craft for over a decade, and that next song, movie, painting or play catches on. Life changes on a dime.
The elite of today may not be that tomorrow. A corollary: we must never forget where we came from. The smart “elite” in any field remember their roots and encourage the next generation.

As always. Your on point Mark. I agree. I like a lot of the A – list bloggers and have had some success actually engaging with some of them. I have had a comments on my blog from an A lister and RT from an author who is respected globally amongst the corporate elite and my blog only has 7 posts.

I am new born in this space. But I have views I know a lot of people will not like. But I won’t apologize for being me. I will respect feedback and seek to understand other perspectives so I develop as a human being. But I understand ultimately people don’t want to hear my re-hash of an A listers “halo” they don’t care about that. They just want to read interesting, informative articles that help them grow or develop their business or provide insight they can use.

I want to develop my own circle of influence but while I am doing it. I will give respect where it is due. And hopefully keep improving and refining my concepts and ideas until I achieve a similar level of success as those I admire and that will always include those who are not even part of the alphabet yet!!

Thanks for sharing your wisdom with the community Susan!

Twitter = connections through serendipity.
Blogs = connections through sustained momentum

… my take any way.

I’m with you on that. I’ve made a lot of tremendous connections — lifetime connections — and I’ve never even looked at their klout score : ) Always nice to see you in the community Arminda. Look forward to seeing you at Social Slam!

I don’t get this world where “social media” has elite and they all have to know each other. Sounds kind of like high school

Great analogy Bob, thanks.

You un… followed … me?

I doubt you are older than me. I am in the 99th percentile of old bloggers. This is a statistical fact which I just made up but makes it no less valid.

I have seen a few work like crazy to gain acceptance into those circles but to no avail. Here’s a great post that I think has relevance here: http://kikolani.com/kick-start-your-blog-by-embracing-the-nobodies.html?utm_source=PushingSocial&utm_medium=twitter

In it Danny talks about the fact that strength and growth comes from collaborating with equals, not chasing after those who provide no benefit. That’s what this boils down to.

I guess it’s either a personal failing or (by your article’s estimation) a spark of AWESOME but I made the same conclusion within 2 months of starting to tweet.

I can never stand to be ignored and can usually find my own circle of friends in any crowd, so building my own community or joining a welcoming community instead was an instinct of mine. I feel that the web is just like the physical world: enough room for every clique

Great post, Mark, and a reminder we need every couple months as tweeting, blogging, FB’ing Linked-Inners.

I think that your post not only turned on a light for me, but it generated an approach and a purpose.
Like surfing, get your level of newbee surfers and learn from afar watching the good ‘uns; and at the same time learn, laugh and let it rip!

Thanks Mark and I am 56, but more like 40:)

Nothing is more rewarding than knowing that I helped somebody out there so it means a lot to me that you took the time to tell me. Thank you Billy!

I always love to see your smiling face in the comment section Jillian. : ) But it is also a chilling reminder. A couple of times, people have asked why I am ignoring them. I had NO idea what they were talking about. In their minds they had reached out to me in some way but it completely went over my head, probably due to sheer volume.

So when you say that you can;t stand to be ignored, that really resonates with me. Brings up fear actually. I don’t want to ignore anybody but there is no way to avoid it.

Here’s an example of what I wonder about … if I put out a tweet that says “Had a great client meeting today!” I might get 25 tweets back and some of them will want details. In some cases I can’t supply details, or don’t have the time to supply details, or maybe don’t want to clog up the Twitterstream with 25 responses. So I wonder if people really expect a response on every tweet. They probably do! I hate the idea that I’m in the “asshole” category for some people but it’s probably unavoidable. : (

Adjectives like “elite” or “expert” live in people’s heads but if you get to know me (and I hope you do Ari!) you will realize I am not an elite anything. I try to do good work and I’m blessed that people seem to enjoy it. That’s all there is to it.

I think a lot of people believe the only way to be successful is to have thousands of followers and talk to the big guns. The question is, what does a big gun do for you? What is your mission? Why are you wanting to be in a social community? It seems so many people today think you have to show others success to be a success in a social community.

To me, you just have to add value to those you do touch and thank those that add value to your mission. If you have a social strategy and a business plan…rather than just acting star struck or numbers hungry…I think it can create a much more powerful experience for all.

Type your reply…

Thank you for your thoughts on this subject. Your mention of “originality” reminded me of a slightly different take on the stand-out-in-the-crowd journey. I see originals being (unfortunately) often way ahead of their time, and often lost in the timeline, until there is critical mass of awareness/acceptance. Many a great idea lost in space. One can bring uniqueness to the conversation, rather than being the first or the only. We can instead add value through our distinct, unique contribution to expand understanding and appreciation.

This is a superb comment. It can be a trade-off. Time and numbers of followers versus community. You have to examine your goals. Thanks Andrew!

Love that perspective!!!!

Great post Mark! Your post has encouraged & inspired me further to blog more frequently & be a professional blogger. What is your suggestion as in how many post a beginner should start with? Your suggestion is right as far as building communities are concerned & i am also applying the same formula on twitter too. Now i have started mutually following most of the persons who follow me on Twitter. I feel much better now

Thanks for passing along this insight Jonha. DIfferent strokes for different folks : )

Sorry to come to the party so late, but I loved the post. I completely agree with @PaulFlanigan:disqus ‘s comment.  Give. Give. Give. I have connected personally with the “social media elite” but I don’t do it for increased readership or because I expect anything – I actually do it because I appreciate their sentiments, their work and ideas and think my audience will appreciate. I think even busy “successful” people appreciate being recognized.  But, even when they do reply I don’t expect that it makes us best friends, of that they (or anyone else) “owes” me something for spreading their word (though a “thank you” IS good manners). I will say this: reply, comment on my blog, share a tweet and I will buy your book for myself and for the SMC whose board I sit on. Don’t respond? To your point,  I might still buy the book. I still might share your info with my audience. But my interest may wane and you’ve lost the opportunity to create a true advocate. However, Its important to remember that even though social media has a “you scratch my back, I scratch yours” mentality, we all reserve the right to engage and support those with whom WE choose…book or no book.
Thanks for the great conversation starter.

Great perspective, Mike. Glad to see you’re having some success!

Excellent points.  I’ve shared this on my G+ with my “circle of influence” as it were.  Great stuff

great post. I have to agree with Paul on “Stop trying to get, start trying to give.” I don’t sit by the traffic counter after I share something via social media (blog comment) unless it’s a big campaign. I genuinely only want people that really want to follow, read, etc. 

Cool. Thanks Bobbi Jo!

Great attitude. Thanks for taking the time to comment!

Great post!  For someone that’s relatively new to blogging, I appreciated this post very much.  Thank you for sharing!

Yes, the Golden Rule is pervading social media.  Marketing may be the last to pick up on it, but PR is also slow.  

It is about the giving of ideas, but smart golden-rule-ers know that giving gets.

Who wrote this article?  Might help to have an author name at top.

I loved this post because it helped solidify the thought process I was having with myself lately. I haven’t really tried to get “in” with the elite, but I wondered how to get to a place where I’d be that noticed. I’ve tried a few things and I’ve realized that the book I read last year, and need to re-read “Go Givers Sell More” is abundantly true. I’m now in a place where I simply provide value as I can to those with whom I’m connected and let my numbers grow organically from my work and effort in various ways.

Thank you so much for helping this thought truly gel for me. I sincerely appreciate that simple thing.

You are so right! You create a community with people like you and then go on the journey with them. It is the same with startup founders – the people that are your real support base who cheer you on and go through the lows and highs with you are your peers.

Glad it helped. Thanks for letting me know!

I can’t say I would even call experienced-bloggers “elite”. They are just “people” like you and me, but the difference is that they started before everyone else jumped in and got more established. I believe we can all learn from those that have “been there-done that” and turn that information into something that we can keep sharing with others. At the end of the day, people will retweet what interests “them” and if the content is good you will see others share it too.