It seems the world has gone app crazy.  Afraid of being left behind, companies are creating apps for everything … even when maybe they shouldn’t.  Let’s have some fun with it.  I present to you the wackiest mobile applications that I could find:

Sin City – Bless me father for I have sinned. It has been 300 tweets since my last confession.  Whether you’ve been “borrowing” free Wi-Fi or coveting your neighbor’s Android, a new mobile app is designed to help you atone for it.  “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” say their software is seriously designed to help believers confess their sins.  I’ll take two please. Might need a back-up.

Love to love you Baby! With Smartphone apps, romance is never far away! Valentine Radio compiles soulful grooves to set the mood; Shakespeare in Bits brings you the legendary love lines of Romeo and Juliet.  A Blackberry Love Calculator, an iPhone iRelate chart or a honky-tonk Cupid love tester can clarify whether your date is Mr. or Ms Right.  The “Pick-Up Lines” app gives you nine categories to choose from, including cheesy, sweet, and plain lame. Hey, is that a smartphone in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?

$&(*)#*$@*#% – Of course nobody should be without an app that teaches you to swear in many languages. “Profanity” for the iPhone looks like one of the most useful apps I have ever seen : ) A must for the seasoned traveler.

While my iPhone Gently WeepsSeveral apps for the iPhone and iPad give guitarists the ability to add effects and record. The most popular seems to be AmpKit which offers a wide range of sound effects, including standards like distortion, wah and delay. The free version includes two effects pedals, one amp, two speaker cabinets and two microphones. Pretty amazing stuff!

A different kind of Internet Cookie – Craving some Samoas or Tag-a-longs?  Help is in your hand with the Find a Cookie app that helps you find the closest Girl Scout Cookie Stand. I’m a Thin Mint kind of guy.

Doggone entertaining — It seems that cats and the Internet go together like ice cream and olives.  Game for Cats encourages cats to chase a dot. Hours of delight! Cat Toy offers four objects to chase: a spider, a butterfly, a red dot and a tiny mouse that squeaks when tapped. The Cat Compatibility Test will make sure your cat can make friends with other felines. And don’t forget to download the Cat Age Calculator!  Translator for Cats gives pet owners an idea of what their furry friends are saying — although we’re not sure why you’d want to know. P.S.  I’m obssessed with Keyboard Cat. Don’t judge me.

Of course there are many apps for the ardent dog lovers, too.  DogBook is the mobile version of the DogBook service on Facebook, which lets dog owners post profiles of their pets and connect with other canine lovers.  A more useful tool for socially-minded dog owners is Dog Park Finder, which puts the content of DogGoes.com into a mobile-friendly format. The free version of the iPhone app shows the location of roughly 2,600 dog parks, including those closest to you.

Say you, say me — Don’t know what to say in awkward social situations? No problem. Let an app pave the way to smooth conversation. On “iPology” (“The sorriest app on the web!”), when you answer the questions “What did you do?” “Who did you do it to?” and “Are you being sincere or sarcastic?” the app delivers automated responses guaranteed to get you out of the doghouse. Send the message via spoken word (you know, like in person), email or text.  Along the same lines, “Excuse List” is available on both the iPhone and Android phones. Pick the activity you wish to avoid — work, church, sports, school — and scroll through a list of excuses.

The Hangover - Have you ever woken up and your first thought is, “How did this chicken get here?”  If this describes you, check out  “Last Night Never Happened” When alcohol makes your fingers itch to record every embarrassing thought that passed through your inebriated mind, this app prevents those humiliating moments from haunting you forever. For a mere two dollars, the app erases all Tweets and Facebook posts for a selected span of time. Now that’s a sober investment.

Bribe-o-maticBribespot helps you record and report bribes you are forced to pay.  Seriously. Talk about a niche market.  It’s like a Foursquare for corruption. The app features mobile “check in” technology but instead of letting everyone know that you’re enjoying a fabulous latte at Javerde Coffee, you let them know that you just were forced to pay a bribe to the subway inspector because you were caught riding (in Hungary) without a ticket.

Nature calls– I’ve read about apps that will help you find a parking space in San Francisco and I saw Kimmo Linkama pay for a parking space using a smart phone in Estonia, but this next one is pretty cool — helping you find an available camping space. If you’ve been in the car for five hours with two tired kids you know how frustrating it can be driving around to find the right camping space.  Apps like Oh, Ranger! ParkFinder (free on Apple) and Camp Finder ($2) are great for finding your next destination while you’re in transit or on the trail.

Are you ready for the ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE? Here they come. Grab some canned food, fresh water, your torch, and be sure you’re packing the Zombie Detector with you!  No family should be without this must-have utility. Because it’s either you, or them!

BONUS!!  Just because you made it this far, you have earned bonus content. Hurray for you!  I hope you’re feeling validated and lemon fresh.  This is not really an app but I thought it was clever. A company is trying to combat distracted driving with a low-tech solution: The Phone Condom, a plastic bag that is supposed to keep smartphones away from text-happy fingers while in a car.

So there you have it!  Have an Appy Day!

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