“Dongle incident” proves we live in a world with no room for error

The_tightrope_walker

Perhaps you have heard by now of the “dongle incident.”

Adria Richards of SendGrid attended a tech conference and overheard a private joke between two guys behind her referring to a “big dongle.”  She was offended by the sexual innuendo, took a picture of the guys, tweeted it, and asked the conference organizers to remove them from the room, which they did.

The man issued an apology, but was fired by his company.  A firestorm erupted, criticisizing both parties.

An entire article is available here.  I am not going to pass judgment on anybody. I wasn’t there and I’m not going to open a can of worms about the behaviors and reactions on either side.

The hivemind speaks

But here is the part that was chilling to me, and it is in black and white.

Someone claiming to know plans of the hacker group Anonymous posted a note saying that it had acquired SendGrid’s client list and was going to attack the company’s infrastructure and harass its customers if the startup didn’t fire Richards.

Adria Richards engaged in malicious conduct to destroy the another individual’s professional career due to what she perceived as an affront to her own extremist views from a comment that was not directed at her, not meant for her to hear, and certainly not for her to provide unwarranted input on. As such, she should have her professional career destroyed just like her victim in order for justice to be rendered and balance restored to the universe. The hivemind’s judgement is final and there is no appeal. No forgiveness, no forgetting remember?

Later that day, SendGrid acknowledged that they had suffered a denial of service attack. And then, they fired Adria Richards, a move “in the overall best interests of SendGrid, its employees, and our customers.”

This is an ugly, ugly episode. But here is the single statement that chilled me to the bone: “The hivemind’s judgement is final and there is no appeal. No forgiveness, no forgetting remember?”

An unknown number of anonymous cyber punks speaking for the “hivemind” dictated the actions of companies and helped crush personal careers. What kind of a world is this leading to?  The “unforgiving hivemind” is now our judge and jury?

If this new cyber dictatorship can bully a company with 130 employees, can they bully a Fortune 500 company? A government? Perhaps it is already happening behind closed doors and firewalls.

No room for error

What does this mean for those of us who make mistakes … meaning, everybody?

A few years ago, I was at a pre-conference networking event and one of the men who was to be keynoting the next day was very drunk and groping just about anybody that walked by.  While this behavior was repugnant and wrong, chances are everybody at some time or another has done something that is repugnant and wrong.

The good news is, since then, this fella has cleaned up his act. In fact, he’s stopped drinking and seems to have re-discovered his life. But in that moment of drunken stupor and poor judgment, his life, family, and career could have certainly been ruined via a 10 second smartphone video.  Would he have any chance for redemption or recovery? Perhaps the crisis of a humiliating public spectacle would have driven him further to drinking. Maybe it would have driven him over the edge.

One of the most interesting talks at SXSW last year was provided by Billy Corgan of the alternative rock band Smashing Pumpkins.  In the talk, Corgan hypothesized that artists take less risks today because of a realization that one embarrassingly human moment will get tweeted and go viral — and possibly kill a career. Before the social web, these moments might be laughed about and become part of band legend, but today it can be career-defining. He wondered aloud about a world where artists would be nothing more than politically-correct robots.

A one-way ticket

There is no going back to an era of redemption, private repentance or second chances.  A public speaking gaffe, a stage stumble, an innocent moment of human weakness can end in permanent disaster.

What are the implications?

Will this relentless and unforgiving world actually drive better behavior?

Will it discourage risk-taking and openness?

Will it drive people away from having any sort of public persona at all?

Will it end up in a world that is ruled by the anonymous hivemind that is eager to destroy people who don’t conform to their ideals and values?

Are we living in a world where there is no room for error?

Illustration: Tightrope Walker by Forain

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  • I like your statement Mark – “I’m not going to pass judgement…” Even if I were in the room, I’d have to be very careful passing judgement & sharing a statement I overheard between two other people. As I have always said, “Never do, say or engage in any way in life (& social media), in a way you don’t want to be seen, heard or perceived.” @NCWiseman

  • LizReusswig

    Wow, Mark…this is an extremely important post and it seems
    like we are at a societal tipping point. You’ve brought up powerful and scary
    points. Interestingly, as I read about the “dongle incident” and its
    consequences, it struck me that this is just like the cyber bullying that our youth
    deal with on a daily basis. Are we really surprised that it has spilled
    up? Instantaneous and viral dissemination has created a world where everything
    is examined, judged and one cannot recover easily. I’m not a proponent of misbehavior, but I am definitely opposed to a faceless hivemind of judges meting out “punishments.”

  • Very sad commentary on the current state of humanity. The internet has such tremendous power for good but then it gets twisted to serve the whims of a few bullies.

  • Two people can hear a sound, and they might interpret the sound differently judging it from experience of what they have heard before.

    I saw the dongle joke and I didn’t really get it until I read everything and it went out of hand. Moreover I won’t pass judgement even if I overhead and I might have interpreted it wrongly or misunderstood it.

    I’m shocked everything spiralled out of hand because of a joke and a tweet. There is nothing much one can do than wait for everything sets and be forgotten.

    You make a scary point though.

  • it’s weird that the conference didn’t just have a serious chat with those guys and that they didn’t ask them to apologize. To take a singular episode to eject 2 people from the conference based on one person taking offense (and perhaps rightly so) why was she so mean-spirited to think that she should determine that they be ejected?
    To lose her job over this, is making this into a mountain of subjective speculation and errors that people need to cut others some slack. There are times when we all screw up.. people misunderstand what is being said.. or even if they do understand it.. the confrontation should have been her talking to the guys and telling them it was offensive of the conference telling the it was offensive. 3 careers ruined.. (not to mention lives of collateral people.) YIKES..
    I happen to know that a client who reamed me on something despite that I had his email that said “sure have them (a potential client) call me.. and then when he had a bad day on that specific day– spent 20 mins reeming those people out and then called ME to do the same– despite I asked him if he would be interested in talking to these people– and gave him some definitive information about the situation so he could make an informed decision. So he got the pleasure of venting his spleen on at least 3 people. There was no opportunity for me to ask him why did he agree to talk to him since I still had that email saying just that. It was one of the deciding factors that told me I don’t need this client.
    So I got to deal with 3 people who were all decidedly upset with the situation over someone changing his mind and everyone wondering who was the bad guy here.
    Personally I think that everyone has the right to change their mind.. and someone should have said that up front and end a phone call.
    This is just a situation of the net (a la Steubenville) where personal actions put out there online.. can have significant repercussions.. (particularly against CNN) for a lot of people.

  • Chuck Kent

    Vengeance is mine saith.. well, saith everybody these days, it seems, as we lord it over each other with the easy omnipotence of digital anonymity. Being relentlessly unforgiving won’t drive better behavior, it will drive recrimination and retreat. I worry more about this on a interpersonal level, almost, than I do on the Hivemind vs Fortune 500 scale.

    Hmmm… I”m grasping for a hopeful perspective to turn this comment to the positive, but it’s hard to find. I guess the saving grace is just that…grace… that people have a tendency to truly change more under the influence of forgiveness than they do under the threat of judgement, in social media or elsewhere. We can, at least on an individual basis, extend that grace in our online and offline interactions, and hope that it is contagious.

    Mark, thanks for posting this, and for that “humanity” thing in your blog title, which keeps me and many others coming back (other readers: scroll to the top, everybody, if you’re here for the first time).

  • Thanks Mark. I wasn’t aware of this story. Whether an overheard joke or an error of judgment, Corgan’s point of an ever decreasing zone of privacy is spot on. Within seconds, the pocket canons are called to arms and blasted throughout the world.

    A big issue here is influence. The snowball started rolling down the mountain because Ms. Richards tweeted the pic, but what if it were @therealdiceclay or another woman that had also been harassed by the pair but only had 13 followers? In both of those cases, the repercussion would have likely been minimal. Ms. Richards’ influence made the joke news. With great influence comes much responsibility.

  • Yep, I have a feeling at least two people will have a problem getting a job now. Hopefully not, but that’s my general feeling.

    And what the horde, and companies did? Amazing overreaction. Sure, posting to Twitter may not have been the best possible way to handle the situation, but the firing was overreaction. The horde’s reaction to the firing was waaaaaay over the line. Why didn’t people go after PlayHaven for their over-the-top reaction? Their employees were being infantile and the incident was embarrssing to the company, but it’s not as if they were running around blind-drunk groping people, as you say in your example.

    Employers nowadays scare the heck out of me. Want a job? Please hand over your Facebook password.

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  • Thanks for sharing your wisdom on this Teddy.

  • Stunning, isn’t it? Really don’t like where this is heading.

  • The story of human history, really.

  • Thanks for adding your important voice to the discussion, Aaron.

  • My first reaction was also that she over-reacted, but you know what? We aren’t her. It’s tough to be a woman in business. It’s even tougher to be a woman in the tech business. We don’t know the cumulative events that might ave led to this. It’s complicated.

  • I’m grasping for a positive too, Chuck. I don’t even know if vengeance is the word for it. The hive mind were not even involved in this.

  • Very good point. The bigger the audience you have, the bigger the target you become. I do think about that a lot. Thanks Jeremy.

  • Really great points here Shane. Neither of these companies are icons of integrity.

  • Wow, what a story. You have such valid points Mark. I think the key here is that with a voice, with influence, with reach, with Twitter and all social networks comes responsibility. Without judgement, ethics, integrity or basic care for people bad things happen.

    I think unfortunately we’re only at the start of these types of situations. It’s so easy to send a tweet, photo, Facebook status in the heat of the moment. Those who lack judgement or any of the above risk doing something they regret.

    It surely is true that anything you say or do in public or even with people you think you can trust can in fact end up posted for the world to see.

    As in life and something I know we both agree on is that you are who you are. It’s just sad that sometimes people expect perfection and that what use to gets solved via real conversation now tends to go to Twitter and photos.

  • I agree, Mark, that people have a right to their feelings, of course. I don’t deny that she felt offended at what she heard, although I wouldn’t necessarily have felt the same way. I also would take a more direct approach and talk to the guys myself, but again that’s an individual choice. It’s a shame people have lost their jobs over this.

    I am extremely sad that the woman’s company capitulated to what is essentially terrorism, as it sets a dangerous precedent. In a criminal case, the Constitution affords people the right to face their accuser. The idea of a nameleas, faceless mob administering what amounts to vigilante justice should offend us all.

  • I believe everybody judges.., all the time. It’s called assessing a situation or a person, we all have an opinion.., always. We do it by body language and by what they say.., and our judgement is shaped by our upbringing and all influences around us.
    How heavily and in what manner you react to that “judgement” is up to you. Consequences should always be considered. This does go for all parties involved in this unfortunate and avoidable tragedy.

    Problem is.., it is impossible to foresee all possible outcomes. Adria would surely have handled this differently had she known…

    The more exposure you have, the more thoughtful you should become.., it is a responsibility one cannot deny.
    At this point, I don’t have that problem.., and I do have a bog mouth and carry my opinion openly.., this could, potentially cause problems in the long run… so I think about what I post.., all the time… It’s an annoying process.., sometimes I just want to speak my uncensored mind.., but I simply cannot.

  • “You are who you are” doesn’t play well on the internet, however. We have to be our best shiny selves I’m afraid.

  • Beautifully said Kerry. This is an example of an online lynch mob. Big companies might be able to fend off attacks, but what about the rest of us?

  • It’s a tricky situation isn;t it? The social web cries out for authenticity when that is not what is wanted or expected at all. I really like the Billy Corgan quote because it is the same for blogging. We are all going to become a vanilla, politically-correct mess.

    You might try stepping out with your opinions, though. As long as you’re not attacking individuals, take the risk and show up. See what happens.

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  • dgulbran

    Yes, we don’t know the event that may have led to her reaction, but here is some perspective from another woman in tech that has dealt with her before amend makes a valid point about what could have been done differently…http://amandablumwords.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/3/

  • dgulbran

    Did her company capitulate to terrorism? Or did they make a business decision? Her *job* was developer relations, and based on the outcry from that constituent group, it’s not _necessarily_ unreasonable to see how her actions may have poisoned her ability to do that job.

  • This was news to me. Quite horrible. But the most horrible thing about “hivemind” is that the whole incident could well have been fabricated from A to Z. Then what? How does one defend oneself against what you aptly described as a virtual lynch mob?

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  • L C

    Reminds me of the hivemind behavior in Colosseum back in ancient Rome. We’ve all seen the movies portraying blood-thirsty crowds, cheering wildly as gladiators and helpless victims fought to the death. Now we can do it online. Yeesh…

  • Both companies should have stuck with their people. Where’s the loyalty to the individual? Where is the putting the human before the entity?

    We reap what we sow. And these 2 companies reaped themselves significant downtime and loss of face by placing the entity before the human and not showing any loyalty to their employees.

    Let this be a lesson.

  • it’s not what happens, but how we react. When did mindfulness and thoughtfulness get replaced by twitchy fingers and entitlement? What an eye-opening reality of the world we seem to be creating everyday. We all must do our part to be more aware of how we structure and perceive our reality, and how it affects others. Social isn’t a game. It’s life. And in this case, career death.

  • I’m so glad you took the “gem” out of judgment when commenting on the hivemind’s quote. Am I trying to make light of something that is beyond my comprehension; scares me into extreme nervousness for the future of my child’s online machinations; and, makes one mistrust those sitting around us for fear of this type of outcome? YES.

    I’m appalled we’re now seeing this behavior; I’m more upset that the future does not bode well for bully wannabes using the internet as a weapon of mass destruction.

    This post was uncanny timing for my post that will run tomorrow. See you in a few days!

  • Tweeting or blogging while in the throes of “passion” whether it be anger or sadness or any other emotion can have unseen consequences. It is a reminder to take a deep breath before we act or react.

    But on a different tack, I have no problem asking why she didn’t ask them to stop prior to sending out her tweet.

  • Another interesting angle, Kimmo. Thanks!

  • Chilling description.

  • I tend to agree with yo but we don;t know all the facts. What if there had been a pattern of behavior? We just don’t know but all things being equal I agree.

  • Thanks for adding your valuable insight Jessica.

  • Makes me worried for our next generation too. Maybe you have to be a hacker to defend yourself instead of learning self-defense?

  • Thanks Josh.

  • All I can say is “wow.” I am amazed, stunned, surprised, sickened, shocked, frightened, just to identify a few of my emotions after reading this post. I try to teach professionalism and humanism to young physicians. I see no evidence of it in this story. In fact, the bottom line of appropriate behavior, the one word to remember, is “respect.” If we each just approach every interaction we have with respect for the other (person, persona, company) we can’t go wrong. But in this tale, it seems as if no one respected anyone at any time. As for what this bodes for the future, I feel the need to close my eyes, and hold my nose.I will not give up on us humans, but I guess I have to teach my kids to look over their shoulder on the internet, just as my mother taught me to do when walking the streets of Manhattan in my youth.

  • It is concerning to me what the fantastic and exciting ease of access has allowed those that will to cast unchecked and defaming comments at another! Real consequences from often false or malice statements seemed to be escalating across the space. Thanks for this insightful and painful story Mark.

  • Interesting you say that, Mark. Big companies can only fend off certain attacks. If the “social mob” decided to take a Bank or perhaps a Government offline, believe me, they could (and in some cases already have).

  • Awesome post! And, so disturbing. Like Teddy Burriss said in his comment, “Never do, say or engage in any way in life (& social media), in a way you don’t want to be seen, heard or perceived.” I’d like to take that one step further to cover a thought exemplified in this “Dongle” case: “Never do, say or engage in any way in life (and social media) in a way that may lead to negative opinions of others”!. It’s not what you do that matters, it’s how others feel about what you do that does, especially when they can instantly broadcast their opinion (accurate or not), with photographic proof, to the world! As you said, the ramifications of this are frightening. And I’m not sure what any individual can do about it. But, I can assure you of one thing, this is only the begining or a new way of life. When you add the notion of “influence” to this, it becomes even more concerning.
    Now, even if you didn’t want to participate in the “social domain”, you really have no choice as someone else can (and obviously will) do it for you!

  • geofflivingston

    I’ll pass judgment, the IT industry needs a better name for these connectors.

  • Considering the fact that in the tech industry that those two men work in a dongle has an entirely meaning than what Adria Richard’s mind set to it I believe that firing her was the correct thing to do. How many careers could somebody like her ruin as a result of her not understanding the terminology?

    I find what she did much more frightening than Anonymous.

  • Very true.

  • djbressler

    Or let me present an alternative suggestion. We live in a time where we are so out of touch with “life” that we have to scream/over-react just to feel.

  • I read through some of the “underground” posts associated with this incident and I’m not sure I share your optimism. And I am an optimistic person. The discussion on this topic has been racist, chauvinistic, anti-semetic and in general, a cesspool of hate … over a mistake. The web really has a very thin veneer of civility.

  • I think there has always been a certain element of this out there Randy but it is not often thrown in our face like this. It is a world I do not choose to frequent!

  • Very true and very disturbing. As a flawed human, is it only a matter of time until each of us gets lined up by the Internet firing squad?

  • There is that! : )

  • Thanks for sharing your opinion.

  • An interesting take. I think more and more, people do reach for a device instead of reacting in a human way. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

  • Ugh. Disgusting. I guess I just don’t get that kind of hate, so its hard for me to accept it. Yet I know it goes on. I just wish it didn’t. And I wish I knew how we could stem it, control it, reduce it or get rid of it. As you said in your post, we all make mistakes, and we ALL now live in glass houses. So none of us should be throwing stones. Or everything will crumble.

  • I see your point, and I could understand if they’d decided to terminate her after their own independent assessment, but the perception at least is that they had no intention of taking that action until after the denial of service attack. That’s what concerns me.

  • All very interesting points. I don’t know how authenticity really plays in the online world. As several companies have found out, just try having the “wrong” opinion about a controversial topic.

  • “An unknown number of anonymous cyber punks speaking for the “hivemind” dictated the actions of companies and helped crush personal careers.”

    Is this any different to:
    “One person (Adria Richards) dictated the actions of companies and helped crush personal careers.

  • Craig Lindberg

    a cyber version of “The Ox-Bow Incident”.

  • jacquichew

    Mob justice is always alarming but I don’t think the hivemind will destroy our ability for a second chance.

    The destructive impact of cliques and bullying have been around for a very long time but we somehow manage to overcome. Yes, the rise and power of faceless cyber bullies is ominous but perhaps I am over optimistic in believing that the universe will correct itself. Members will defect. In-fighting will set in, etc.

  • jacquichew

    There was more to the double entendre. Read the Techcrunch article for more.

    Also Richards is a coder. She is well aware of what a dongle means as do I.

  • Susan H.

    Unfortunately it seems a company’s best position in today’s
    viral environment is to drop an unpopular position as quickly as possible. You really can’t know how the hysterical
    masses are going to escalate a situation, therefore I think most companies have
    resigned themselves to damage control, maybe quicker than they should. For example, look at companies who have taken
    unpopular political positions, they seem to stay front and center in the news
    until they apologize. Don’t get me
    wrong, I would have liked to see loyalty; it would have been a breath of fresh
    air. However, I’m not really sure companies, with other employees, can afford
    to have the viral mobs at their door. I’m not entirely sure of the solution for the culture we are in now.

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  • cheebo

    You are assuming she was fired because of threats from Anonymous. Its an assumption not fact SendGrid website gives clear reason. Here si the employer quote”A SendGrid developer evangelist’s responsibility is to build and strengthen our Developer Community across the globe. In light of the events over the last 48+ hours, it has become obvious that her actions have strongly divided the same community she was supposed to unite. As a result, she can no longer be effective in her role at SendGrid.” Why try and read more into it?

  • A fair point. I don’t know with certainty that the firing was a result of the threat and the attack.

  • Will be interesting to see how it plays out.

  • Jack Silverman

    Hi Mark, great perspective I’m sharing with our staff.

  • Well said Susan.

  • Jenn Whinnem

    Mark – had you read this? http://amandablumwords.wordpress.com/2013/03/21/3/ Apparently this is the kind of thing Adria does. I see someone below mentioned this, and I want to call it out. She calls people out publicly before trying to negotiate with them privately. And that is not cool.

  • The thing that I find most surprising, is that everyone seems shocked that companies would take such extreme measures as firing their employees over a single complaint. This happens everywhere – every day – and has very little to do with social media. The only difference I see is that people are talking about this incident.

    A few years ago, these two companies could have fired their employees – each because of the other’s complaint, and the general public would have never heard about it. The outrage would have been limited to the friends and family of those employees. Social media’s real role in all of this has only been to increase awareness and outrage.

  • Really interesting point, and true. Thanks for getting us thinking on a different angle Jennifer.

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  • Mark,

    I was having a similar discussion yesterday involving Google Glass. If there comes a day when we all walk around video taping our lives… What actions do we take in public?

    Is spontaneity destroyed? Is everything planned and calculated?

    We truly live in a different world than 15 years ago and our culture is struggling to adjust.

    Hanley

  • This is unbelievable . . . the whole sordid story. Seriously, whatever happened to a quick spin around in your seat and saying “Zip it, fellas!”

  • It is going to create a bizarre dynamic. Yes, our lives will be recorded. Might make an interesting guest post? : )

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  • Kevin von Duuglas-Ittu

    Harsh, all the way around. Ironic perhaps the most was that “forking” was a private term invented between friends (with only a little bit of innuendo). Such layers of Authority here. She and her audience was meant to be judge and jury, companies were judge and jury, Anonymous as judge and jury. And now us, as judge and jury. Is there room for innocence in a social media world? I strongly suspect there is little or no room for it, at any level.

  • The hivemind, I regret, is just desserts. Eat up! Anonymous is the obvious consequence to the lack of courage, heart and hope in our world. I’m not going to bother with reading up on the Dongle incident, but I will suggest that the hivemind has been pretty good at limiting collateral damage considering what it can do. Most of you can not even begin to imagine their capability. TEOTWAWKI – to put it simply. Unfortunately, I predict that the hivemind will have greater difficulty limiting collateral damage in the future. The only thing you can do to limit the hivemind’s response to a broken world… is fix the broken world.

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  • A very late reply, but this is exactly the issue presented in the British series, Black Mirror (Season 1, episode 3: The entire history of you). People have implants called ‘grain’ which lets them record and playback everything they see and hear. Even babies can wear it. Imagine a world where all your memories are stored and accessible for viewing by you and everyone else you choose to share them with. All your actions are scrutinised and viewable, all your mistakes archived but never fade way.

  • I can’t believe I missed this post, Mark. Pretty late reaction but would still like to add my voice.

    Here’s my honest reflection (and most are questions):
    – What I find most striking (and disturbing) about the ‘Dongle’ case is the backlash – the anger – against Adria Richards, not because of her actions per se, but because she’s a woman who complained / (perhaps) made a mistake. I’m not defending her action – I would’ve reacted differently – but then again I’m an outsider and there’s a larger context to consider. But much of the anger directed towards her is misogynistic. Aside from being blamed wholly for the guy losing his job, and since she also got fired, a lot are saying that she got what was coming, that she’s a wh**e and should stop complaining, stop abusing her power, and even threatening her with rape.

    – What’s also interesting (in the posts and comments I’ve come across): while the mostly male audience tells her to shut up or that it was a private joke and not directed at her, a lot of women are telling her that she should’ve behaved differently. She shouldn’t have confronted them publicly, but privately. No judgement here, just an observation.

    – Would the same wrath have been unleashed it it were a man who tweeted about other men’s sexist remarks? If he ’caused’ someone’s job?

    – Would it be the same wrath if the remarks were racist? Would the public say, shut up you over-reacting feminist, or actually praise her for speaking up and shaming them?

    – Many companies handle a social media PR crisis in black and white. Firing someone is not the best or only option.

    – As much as individuals and responsible citizens have to be critical and expose wrongdoings, we also need to nurture the capacity to forgive (ourselves and others), reinvent our selves and help others reinvent themselves.

    – I believe in the power of social web for advancing causes and social change. However, I found it most chilling when this thought crossed my mind: The hive mind is not accountable or loyal to anyone.

  • Going beyond the dongle incident and looking at the larger context, your thoughts on making mistakes, redemption, and public personas resonate with mine. I wrote about it in this post — I hope you’ll get the chance to read it.

    http://socialbizstrategy.com/2010/11/07/%E2%80%98digital-forgiveness%E2%80%99-in-a-world-that-does-not-forget/

    Reading “The Web Means the End of Forgetting” by Jeffrey Rosen prompted me to write it. In his article, Rosen posed the need to reinvent forgetting: how do we cultivate ‘digital forgiveness’ — giving and getting second chances in a ‘world without forgetting’ — and develop new forms of empathy while reconciling our different but merged identities?

    My thoughts in a nutshell:
    We may be increasing our capacity to record, remember, and scrutinise, but are slow in forgiving and developing new forms of empathy.
    Discovering news forms of empathy in this digital world can help us all learn better from our mistakes and actually serve the interest of transparency and accountability better; it can give us the drive to reinvent and be more true to ourselves; we can be motivated to forget and be more forgiving of ourselves and others. Ultimately, I hope it helps us emerge as wiser and kinder beings.

    *Thanks for writing about this.*

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