20 Hilarious and Cool Twitter bios

cool twitter bios

I love cool Twitter bios. I guess I am the ultimate social media geek because when I look through my new followers, finding a funny Twitter bio is like a little ray of sunshine in my day. I’ve been collecting a list of the best ones for you. Here we go:

Digital marketing ninja. Social media wizard. I will maximize your ROI, minimize your CPL, and superglue your stickiness. For beer.

Don’t you just hate it when a sentence doesn’t end the way you octopus

Pale, awkward and very, very small. Form an orderly queue gents.

Don’t follow me because I don’t even know where I’m going

Total computer geek. Married to a computer geek. Raising two future computer geeks.

There’s a Viking living in Manhattan and she’s wearing my pants.

I spend every staff-meeting wondering how they got the table through the door. My boss thinking how to fire me without compensation. We are equally productive.

Acts like summer & walks like rain

My blood is made of coffee.

The only person on Twitter who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.

These are my opinions. Not necessarily shared by reasonable-minded people nor my benevolent corporate overlords

There are two kinds of people in this world… And I don´t like them

God gave me a lot of hair, but not a lot of height

The fine line between social networking and wasting your time.

Sarcasm falls out of my mouth, just like stupid falls from yours

I always learn from mistakes of others who take my advice

A magic mushroom in the cow dung of the 21th century.

one girl’s mission to find the line between not enough coffee and too much coffee.

I was planning to be the first black president. Well… Barack ruined that.

Mainly tweeting about dairy consumption. In other words folks … milk it for all it’s worth.

If you loved these bios, you would probably also enjoy the previous editions of this series:

20 of the world’s most entertaining bios

20 of the all-time funniest Twitter bios (part 2!)

20 of the all-time best Twitter bios

20 of the world’s most clever Twitter bios

Illustration: I just made that up.

twitter book

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  • That was hilarious. I couldn´t choose which I like more. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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  • Alice Ackerman, MD,

    Always love these lists of Twitter bios, Mark. Its great to see a bit of how you might be spending some of your “free” time on social media. LOL (and the creativity of the Twittersphere).

  • Patricia Haag

    Mark – I always love those lists.

    Here’s a funny Twitter bio from a gent who just followed me:

    “I quit creating a Global 500 tire manufacturer’s promotional merchandise for health reasons. They were sick of me. “

  • My favorite thing on your blog! Your funny bios changed my Twitter world. LOL

  • Some of them were just hilarious. I liked them. My clear favourites are #7, #15 and #16..

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