business relationships
Have you judged me today?
May 30th
There is this great man I knew. We’ll call him John. Because that was his name.
I’ve done a lot of crazy things in my career but probably none so challenging as serving as a facilitator for company-union labor negotiations. It was an emotional and bruising experience.
The first time I met John, a union official, he told me within five minutes that he didn’t like me. He went on to explain that I was a “company man” and so he would always distrust and dislike me, no matter what. This really pissed me off.
But truth be told, I didn’t like John either. He spoke in this thick, hick accent and I judged him to be an uneducated rube blindly following orders from shady union bosses who filed costly and ridiculous claims about work rules just to stonewall our progress and manipulate the negotiations.
Over a few days, John and I got to know each other better through the facilitated activities and over long lunches where we talked about our lives and families.
After the third day, he came up to me at a break and said, “I was wrong about you. I just assumed all company people were born with a silver spoon in their mouth. You weren’t. You had to work for everything. I think the real reason I hated you is because I was jealous. You worked hard and got somewhere. I never did that.”
I’m sure the look of shock on my face was apparent.
But I also realized that over those days I had gained a new respect for him, too. I learned that John had been dragged through 39 different schools over his 12 grades of schooling. He never really had a chance for a meaningful education or any close friendships during his entire childhood. He had bravely tried to salvage his alcoholic father, even when the man was waving a loaded gun at him as a child. And John had become a great husband, father and grandfather who always had some new pictures of the kids to show me. He was a lovely, caring man, forged by a lifetime of suffering.
I felt ashamed at how I had judged John. Getting to know the real man was a life-changing discussion and I swore never to make rash judgments about people again. I have never forgotten John’s “back story” and how my initial impressions were so unfair and wrong.
Through technology like the social web, it is easier than ever to make judgments about people. Usually we only see a little avatar and some written words. Maybe a phone call if we’re lucky. The technology is a convenient way to avoid personal contact. And yet, I so often hear people putting others in categories they don’t deserve based on partial information.
From John, I learned that we really don’t know a person until we have walked in their shoes. We don’t know where they have been. We don’t know how they have suffered.
You know, everybody starts out as this pure little baby with unlimited goodness and potential. Then a lifetime of hurt and crap builds up around them and who knows what it does to somebody.
There are a lot of people I know who I wish had their own ”John” moment. The cattiness and politics on the social web can be so disgusting. It’s too easy to give “hit and run” feedback without thinking about the person behind the avatar. Sometimes I feel like I’m watching “The Real Housewives of Facebook.”
I’m not going to accomplish much with this post. Catty bitchy people will probably be catty bitchy people whether they read this or not and I realize this post is not going to provide a life-changing moment. Maybe it’s more of a vent for me because sometimes people make the most audacious and hurtful assumptions and accusations when they don’t even know me. It sickens me.
When our relationship is limited to 140-character sound bites, we really don’t know each other. Let’s give each other a break, OK? Love one another, even when it’s hard to understand.
Turning an online relationship FAIL into friendship
May 25th
Lori Witzel, a newcomer to our community, asked me a good question the other day. “Did you get any phone calls? You left me hanging!”
You see, she had just read a blog post I wrote last year called “Social Media and the Big Conversation Fail.” The summary of the story is that my entire view of social media relationships had been shaken when I realized somebody I had considered a social media “friend,” Jenn Whinnem, had cystic fibrosis. I felt humiliated that I had not known this collaborator of mine suffered each day. What kind of a friend is that?
So I vowed to do better. In that post I issued a blanket invitation for my blog community to call me. It was a risky move. Many thousands of people read my blog every day! But it was also a necessary move. Is this a community or not?
The answer is, yes, this is an amazing blog community and lots of people called me in a very respectful and manageable way. Generally people DM’d me and we set up a time to talk. I allocated time each week for community chit-chat. I stopped counting, but if I had to guess, I would say that I’ve talked to at least 75 people from {grow} since that post.
This was by far the best thing I have ever done on this blog. You see, lots of people COMMENT on my blog, but few really give me feedback. There’s a big difference. I found the unvarnished conversations with my audience brought me closer to them personally and helped me improve professionally as well.
Here’s an example. One of the most profound conversations was with Caroline Di Diego, an entrepreneur in Singapore. I didn’t know her at all. I had not recalled her ever commenting on my blog, and maybe she tweeted it a few times but other than that she was a blank.
“You asked me to call,” she said. “So I thought I should. Your blog has changed my life.”
And the conversation just got more interesting from there. Sometimes I get a little down when a “smart” post I write bombs and then something silly like “The 20 Craziest Things You Can do on Twitter” goes viral.
But Caroline could recall every “smart” post I had written. And not only could she recall them, she could recount how it made her re-consider how she was conducting her business. “You write a blog that makes me stop what I’m doing and think,” she said.
I’m a lousy golfer. But if I have just that one great shot, it keeps me coming back. Caroline’s phone call was kind of like that.
And of course the first person I called after the post was Jenn. And a few weeks ago, we actually met in person when she flew from Connecticut to Knoxville to attend Social Slam. Oh yeah. She was unemployed at the time she made the reservations. “I want to meet you,” she simply said.
I hosted a little event for the {grow} community and tears filled my eyes when she walked in the room. I was overcome by emotion as I met this person after two years of friendship — now REAL friendship I think — and collaboration.
The whole experience has been inspiring! I encourage you to try it with your own blog community. Don’t be a stranger. Call people up and see what they think! And by the way, when are you and I going to talk?
Stop shoving social media down my throat
May 23rd
It’s time to step up and address one of the great myths pervading the social web — that an essential best practice is decentralizing social media marketing and pushing it down to employees at every level of the company. This is a philosophy that sounds good, but is often detached from practical reality.
I have been immersed in the social web for more than three years. It’s a big part of my job. I teach about it. I consult about it, and of course I write about it. And here is a conclusion that I can confidently make: Social media marketing can be very, very difficult to do successfully.
Why force social engagement?
So why do so many people insist that we should be shoving social media down the throats of employees at every level of the company? This is like forcing me to do accounting. It would not be a good fit … I just don’t have that mindset. Not every person has the right mindset, ability, or openness to succeed with social media but that doesn’t mean they can’t still fit in your company.
Of all the people I interact with on the social web, I would say I am most in-tune with Jay Baer. He is a true intellect and I highly recommend a regular dose of his blog Convince and Convert. But we disagree somewhat on this point.
I’m not picking on Jay … his viewpoint is widespread. But his recent post Speak No Evil – Why Trust Isn’t a 4 Letter Word in Social Media, is a good focal point for the issue.
A hiring problem?
Jay concludes that “it’s everyone’s job to represent the company on the social Web” and that if you don’t have employees who can represent you, ”you don’t have a social media problem, you having a hiring problem.”
The underpinning of this hypothesis is that every employee should be both skilled and trustworthy on social media or you are not running your company well. This logic gets further twisted for me with claims that people are communicating stupid things to the outside world in emails any way … so why not trust them to put it out into public on the social web? Seems like apples and oranges. Emails don’t go viral. Just ask NFL player Rashard Mendenhall.
Should everybody tweet?
Jay uses the example of Mendenhall and his recent litany of tweets that were outside mainstream American thinking.
Let’s look at the Mendenhall example. Yes, he was out of step with mainstream thought. But who isn’t to some degree? The man was hired to carry a football toward a goal line, not necessarily to “stay on message” during a news event. So did the Steelers make a ”hiring mistake” because he sends out stupid tweets? No. The guy is one of the best football players on earth.
Part of the ”social media is for everybody” myth is that we should humanize our companies — trust people to be themselves and everything will be OK. Again, this is just too simplistic and disconnected from reality. You just might get what you ask for, as the Steeler ownership discovered.
I work with an extraordinarily gifted man who is one of the best sales people I have ever met. He is kind of “folksy,” maybe even leaning toward redneck. But he is a perfect fit for his marketplace and there is nothing he would not do to serve his customers. The man is a star and he has single-handedly built up his business — he’s probably the most valuable employee in the whole company.
Putting this fella into the public social media spotlight 140 characters at a time would be a disaster. I imagine his tweets would come across as incredibly embarrassing — taken out of the context of the individual and his environment. Does this company have a “hiring issue?” Of course not! His customers understand and love his quirky humor but that doesn’t mean the whole world would. Here is what I would say to him — “You just keep selling your heart out buddy. Don’t worry about Twitter.”
Uniform political correctness is impossible
When consultants pontificate that every employee should have enough common sense to be on the social web, what they are really saying is we need to hire people who are always politically correct. Which of course will create the most boring, ineffective companies — and who would even want to work there? Not every employee has good judgment about everything — especially when we are turning them into public spokespersons.
Before you drink the Kool Aid on this perspective of “cover the world with social media,” ask yourself one question. Think about some of the best bosses and employees you have ever had. Would they take naturally to the social web? And if not, does that make them a bad hiring decision?
Let’s put this into a practical context
Theoretically I agree with Jay. But I think applying social media effectively requires business sense and balance. We wouldn’t force everybody into a sales role. We wouldn’t put everybody into the glare of the six o’clock news in a PR role. Why would we set an expectation that everybody should be able to have a role in social media or that is a sign that we have a “hiring problem” if we don’t? Being adept at social media is NOT EASY for everybody. And we should be able to live with that human diversity.
Instead I think it makes sense to encourage social media participation in the context of the goals of the company, the available resources, the competitive environment, and the talents of the employees:
- I agree with Jay that the PR or marketing department hasn’t cornered the market on social media greatness. Certainly employees can become online ”beacons” for your brand, but don’t force them to do it or dismiss it as a “hiring problem” if they don’t want to blog or participate in Twitter.
- Acknowledge that social media participation is going to occur, sanctioned or not. An explicit social media policy is a must.
- If employees do want to be formally active on the part of a company, give them the training and guidelines they need to do it well. Explain how it connects to strategy and the implications of representing the voice of the company.
- With the increasing importance of social participation, start adding this to the job requirements of new employees, if that is key to their role in the company. For example, I certainly would not care if a star engineer doesn’t want to blog. You know, some people have to be about the business of actually making stuff. Again — “context.”
What do you think?
So I absolutely recognize and appreciate the opportunity that Jay and others put forth, but I think this nuance is important – It’s not that everybody SHOULD be a marketing voice for you company. It’s that everybody COULD be a marketing voice for your company depending on context. This approach simply recognizes human diversity and that an employee can be extremely valuable … even if they don’t participate in the social web. What do you think?
Not Everyone Knows as Much as You Do About Social Media
May 21st
A guest post by David Lifson …
Small business owners. They’re an impressive group that must handle every element of their operation – from accounting to inventory, and hiring to firing.
Maybe the most important part of the business they need to manage? Marketing.
As we continue to define and quantify the value of social media marketing, small business owners are slowly joining the party. However, we have to remember that they aren’t here in mass yet. In truth, the number of small business owners who understand, use, and capitalize on social media marketing is minuscule. Yet that’s something we tend to forget, which in turn, widens the gap between the evangelizers and innovators of social media. We continually have to put ourselves in their shoes. And when we do that, we really need to understand the hurdles that they’re facing when it comes to social media marketing. So let’s look at few obstacles… and what we can do to overcome them.
Newness
It’s important to remember that social media marketing is still new. It’s difficult to tell a small restaurant owner that they should scrap their 25 year old phonebook ad and fire up a Twitter account. And it’s safe to say that the majority of them are thinking “Why should I blog?” (they may also be asking what a blog is, for that matter). Either way, it’s important they feel comfortable. Let me explain: you know that feeling you get when someone rambles on about a new technology that you know nothing about and then that person acts mystified that you aren’t in the know? That’s how most small business owners feel when people talk about social media. And it doesn’t feel good. Social media marketing evangelizers and innovators need to remember that not everyone lives in the tech world. When on-boarding small business owners, keep that caveat in mind.
Time Commitment
The beauty of that 25 year old phone book ad is that it’s been on cruise control for 25 years. It requires minimal time investment. Social media on the other hand, is perceived as some abyss for small business owners to get lost in. They “heard from a friend of a friend that the guy who runs the hardware store down the street got lost in Facebook last week and hasn’t been seen since.” And to be honest, small business owners who don’t have someone to tackle their marketing also lack the extra time to spare on social media. Instead, it needs to become a small part of their day, like going through email or balancing cash drawers. The best way for the small business owner to take a proactive role in the social media marketing is to carve out a schedule. Spending 10 minutes a day, three days a week parsing through comments, mentions and reviews can be a great way to start. Think of it this way — why not do your social media posting and updating during your coffee break?
Fear
For the small business owner, social media marketing still has that wild west feel. From pondering what their first tweet should be to dealing with less-than-friendly reviews on Yelp, small business owners are scared they’ll do the wrong thing. Some don’t want to do anything at all. One way they can combat this when first dipping their toe in is to just listen. It’s important to get a feel for how they’re perceived in the social web. It might make sense to scope out what their competitors are doing in social media. (Nothing turns fear to fight like a little competition, right?) Set some Google alerts, search by keyword on Twitter, get a feel for what people are saying. Listening to what customers and influencers are saying on the different social media channels can help small business owners overcome the fear that they may feel when first diving in.
Value
We’ve heard it time and time again: “How does social media marketing impact my bottom line?” Small business owners are accounting for every penny and every hour. Time spent doing something that doesn’t directly impact their bottom line is often eliminated, and quickly. The way to scale this hurdle is twofold. First, explain that social media levels the field. Customers can interact with businesses and vice versa. Reiterate that. Social media gives small business owners the ability to interact with their customers. Secondly, to get a sense whether or not social media is having any financial impact, small business owners need to understand if their traffic is coming from social channels. Train cashiers to ask how customers heard about the shop. Have a customer email list? Poll them to find out what social networks they use.
It helps to remind ourselves every now and then that the vast majority of small business owners still see some major roadblocks when it comes to social media marketing. And that’s OK. What’s important though is that we help them out. Show them around. Don’t talk down to them. On-board them in a way that’s… well… social.
David Lifson is the CEO of Postling (postling.com), a web tool that helps small business owners manage social media marketing. Follow Postling on Twitter at @postling.








You’re in marketing for one reason: Grow.
Grow your company, reputation, customers, impact, profits. Grow yourself. This is a community that will help. It will stretch your mind, connect you to fascinating people, and provide some fun along the way. I am so glad you’re here.
-Mark Schaefer









