Posts tagged best twitter bios
20 of the world’s most clever Twitter bios
Sep 21st
Last year I started “collecting” great Twitter bios and kind of got hooked. When I decided to publish “The All-Time Best Twitter bios,” and “The 20 Funniest Twitter Bios,” readers of {grow} seemed to get hooked too! So here we are with the third edition. These are all real Twitter bios …
@MichaelACaruso
I’ve learned I don’t know anything. Have also learned that people will pay for what I know. Life is good.
@ProbablyBaking
Living one day at a time, with a fresh baked cookie. Okay. And with a coffee. And maybe some chocolate. But I promise to take my vitamins.
@janefcox
Insert pretentious crap about myself here.
@Mobium
Buddy, can you paradigm?
@Laura_the_Wise
Nerdfighter. Determined dreamer. Has ambitions to be crazy cat lady if marrying various celebrity crushes proves impossible.
@Anpehuis
(Note this is Finnish. I don’t know what it says, but get a load of all those letters! I figure any bio with the word Oyj in it has got to be great.)
@_PenelopeNYC
Coffee-Drinker, eReader Addict, Mom, Blogger. I’m very busy and important
@BrandBySarah
90% of your problems can be solved by marketing. Solving the other 10% just requires good procrastination skills.
@hmcdani2
I’m really a giant cupcake. Afraid of roller coasters and dry ice
@AnonEmus216
I used to love my old twitter account, then everyone from work found me. This is my new account
@glynette
I have been called a PollyAnna, sugar-coated idealist. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that
@TylerLClark
I’m not smart. I just wear glasses.
@billyblogs
I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too
@ThatGuySteve08
HOLY CRAP I’M GOING TO BE A DAD! Oh yea, I work in email marketing & I like craft beer too.
@jfloyd
I’m just a boy, standing in front of the world, asking you to follow me.
@iMadiD
do not judge me before u know me, but just to inform u, you won’t like me
@karenrclark
I’ve never been a millionaire but I just know I’d be darling at it
@stndotsidurself
A human. Being.
@Rhymetime24
Why talk when you can mock? Why hide your Face like I got Mace? Is it all an act or just a Fact. Maybe if you didn’t drool, you’d be cool. Ran out of room boom
@kamazonia
I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor.
BONUS CONTENT!!
As I scoured the Twitterverse for the most clever bios, I also found some pretty bad ones, too! But they are also funny in their own strange way. I don’t want to embarass anyone so I’ve removed the handles, but I couldn’t resist some of these clunkers:
- Fascinated by transactional nature of counterknowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate (but don’t engender) counter-public spheres
- follow me
- I’m indifferent to most items on the planet. Some people call me a Social Media Guru. I don’t correct them.
- I have a dream to gain the freedom to help people Through new products, helping then grow through experiences and achieving their dreams and their freedom
- Job Opportunity Promoter, I follow back for FREE!!!
- hello my sexy armadillo. I’ll follow back esp if youre irish
Well, as a matter of fact, madam … I am. : )
Take the Mystery Out of Twitter!
, the best-selling Twitter book in the world! Learn the three elements behind every Twitter success, 22 ways to build a relevant audience, strategies to create personal and business benefits, and hundreds of amazing tips and time-savers.20 of the world’s wittiest Twitter bios
20 of the all-time funniest Twitter bios (part 2!)
The 20 all-time funniest Twitter bios (part 2!)
Apr 21st
A few months ago I introduced a blog post about the 20 all-time greatest Twitter bios I had come across. I have had more requests to repeat this effort than any other blog post I have ever written (I’m heartened to see that I’m making such an impact!).
Could Twitter bios be the ultimate creative effort? It’s not easy stating your case in 160 characters. So here we go Twitter lovers — Round Deux of the funniest Twitter bios ever … and all of these are real (and fabulous)!
@badbanana
Sometimes I just want to give it all up and become a handsome billionaire.
@jeffnoelmidlife
Aggressively unfancy.
@ZacharyColbert
S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R
@bgibbs73
Currently working towards an MBA with an emphasis in fantasy football.
@killer_bunnie
Have own hair and like ugly things
@JAMCollective
Puttin’ the ‘elation’ in ‘Public Relations’
@iamaveronica
I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies?
@TheBloggess
I have friends in spite of myself.
@matsbe
Probably the best meat eater in the world
@jpundyk
Nice guys finish lunch.
@HotAmishChick
Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless
@JeffCThorson
I recently gave up Warcraft so my productivity, and drinking, have increased dramatically.
@growden
there is a problem with this mattress
@howardgr
A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery.
@ohyesshecan
social strategy & implementation. will work for shoes.
@katefettie
You know the burnt-out college student in front of you in line at Target who was intermittently chuckling to herself? Nice to meet you, too.
@radmul
If I could sum up my life in one line I would die of embarrassment
@nancyfalls
I’m @JasonFalls’s wife. I am not on Twitter. Go do something useful.
@shariv67
I’m 25% mom 25% comedian 62% boobs 48% mathematician and 100% woman-monkey.
@robburnsbrain
I once sneezed a beenie weenie through my nose. I also made a horse faint in Costa Rica.
Take the Mystery Out of Twitter!
, the best-selling Twitter book in the world! Learn the three elements behind every Twitter success, 22 ways to build a relevant audience, strategies to create personal and business benefits, and hundreds of amazing tips and time-savers.Click on the image for a Special Amazon promotion!
Previous funny Twitter bio editions:
20 of the world’s wittiest Twitter bios
20 of the all-time most clever Twitter bios
20 of the all-time best Twitter bios
Dec 9th
Twitter biographies might be the ultimate creative-writing challenge. You have 160 characters to spin your personal story! Here are 20 great mini-biographies that caught my eye and stole my heart. Enjoy!
@QueenRania
A mum and a wife with a really cool day job…
@Glinner
I apologise in advance.
@oilman
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
@TheMadHat
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.
@AllisonBatof
Naturally and artificially flavoured
@BittrBetty
Just some chick bitching about her effed up life and stuff…
@maxxhendriks
I was born. When I was 11 I got my first computer. Then I started writing funny tweets. That’s still what I am doing. The end.
@RebeccaWoodcock
I am a sample size of one, not statistically significant, nor representative.
@MadsBloggingMom
Smart ass blogging mom. Its all about me, really.
@KRCraft
An ounce of perception – a pound of obscure.
@janefader
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
@DianaSilvaSays
I love my husband, my dogs, all things marketing, three-day weekends, high-heels, reading, running, knitting, sushi, wine, long walks on the beach…wait, what?
@RainnWilson
I am an actor and a writer and I co-created SoulPancake and my son, Walter.
@PamelaLund
Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
@CKRapp
My life was changed by a train.
@Tweeetstreet
Nothing more than a man who cared enough to try
@EzraButler
I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…
@brant
It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.
@cshirky
Bald. Unreliable. Easily distracte
@snotforprofit
The only person on Twitter who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
Take the Mystery Out of Twitter!
, the best-selling Twitter book in the world! Learn the three elements behind every Twitter success, 22 ways to build a relevant audience, strategies to create personal and business benefits, and hundreds of amazing tips and time-savers.Click on the image for a Special Amazon promotion!
Previous funny Twitter bio editions:
20 of the world’s wittiest Twitter bios
20 of the all-time most clever Twitter bios
Welcome to {grow}
You’re in marketing for one reason: Grow.
Grow your company, reputation, customers, impact, profits. Grow yourself. This is a community that will help. It will stretch your mind, connect you to fascinating people, and provide some fun along the way. I am so glad you’re here.
-Mark SchaeferFollow Mark
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