Posts tagged social media etiquette
Could too much tweeting cost you your job?
May 7th
This is not a blog post about any titanic trend or an insight into a new marketing strategy. This is about one little thing — tweeting when you’re not supposed to — and what it might mean to your career.
One of my favorite college football players is Geno Smith of West Virginia University. I have rarely seen a young athlete approach the game with more intelligence, intensity, and leadership.
Many people expected him to win college football’s highest honor, the Heisman trophy and perhaps be the first athlete picked up in the professional football draft last week.
It turns out, he wasn’t a contender for the Heisman honor and was not even the first player at his position to be chosen in the draft. Over the last six months, his stock has continued to slip among the professional football executives despite his breath-taking skills. Why?
Perhaps it is because he tweets too much.
The thrill of victory. The agony of de tweet.
Jason Cole of Yahoo! Sports reported that when Smith went on visits to prospective teams, rather than interact with coaches and front-office people who would be making the decision to hire (draft) him, he would spend much of his time by himself on his cell phone, texting friends and interacting with his Twitter stream.
One official said: “All these other players who were in there were talking to the coaches, trying to get to know people and he was over there by himself,” one of the sources said. “That’s not what you want out of your quarterback.”
Eventually Geno was drafted in the second round by the New York Jets, but his disconnected attitude may have cost him millions of dollars in salary, endorsements, and publicity as a first-round draft pick.
I have a friend who might actually lose his job over Twitter. He’s addicted to his Twitter stream and tweets constantly. His employer is upset about this habit and told him that he needs to concentrate at work. ”They just don’t understand me,” my friend lamented. “This is how I stay connected to my friends.”
A few weeks ago, I noticed that a well-known social media celebrity was tweeting and texting from a conference panel in front of a room filled with several hundred people. Instead of paying attention to the moderator and interacting with the other panelists, he disconnected from the conversation the entire time with his head down in his Twitter stream.
Be here now.
I imagine that some readers from Generation Text might be thinking “Who cares?”
Obviously the NFL team owners care. Even though Geno Smith is a remarkable talent, they wanted him to pay attention. I think that even in our text-frenzied world, it should be a priority to be present in the moment, to provide individual attention that communicates “I care about what is going on here, right now, instead of the action on my phone.”
I might not be an NFL team owner drafting a quarterback, but I have made a mental note to never hire or recommend that distracted social media celebrity panelist for a speaking engagement. There are a lot of choices out there. Being attentive and professional is important, even if you have loads of talent — as Geno found out.
Everything communicates. Everything becomes part of your personal brand … including how and when you use Twitter. Do you agree? Or, do you see expectations in the business world changing to conform to Generation Text?
“You’re Creeping Me Out!” The Dark Side of Social Networking
Mar 13th
By Kerry Gorgone, {grow} Contributing Columnist
Things are about to get personal.
Social media has made it easier than ever to connect: Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other services have greatly amplified everyone’s personal brand message. This is fun, and beneficial inasmuch as we can get a sense of someone’s professionalism, character, and personality before we ever meet them in person.
Recently, though, I’ve had some less than pleasant experiences with people who seem to be interested in professional networking, but ultimately just wanted to use me to sidle up to someone else I know. Here are some tips from me and some of my social media friends on how to connect with people (as opposed to using them):
Don’t be creepy. If we’ve had a professional phone call, don’t use my number later for personal reasons. Texting me at 10 p.m. to ask “what’s up” is going to make me uncomfortable. My significant other won’t appreciate it, either.
If I accept your friend request on Facebook, don’t message me telling me I forgot to post to your wall for your birthday, as though I should have remembered. My mother didn’t call me on my birthday. Get over it.
Don’t come on too strong. I appreciate when people are helpful, and offer to share my posts or promote my upcoming appearances. This kind of professional support should show that you value my work and share my passions. Unless we’ve met in person, however, please don’t ask for my home address and, say, mail me gifts. That’s a little too personal.
You don’t owe me anything, and sending unsolicited gifts to me or my kids makes me feel as though you want me in your debt for some reason. Maybe this is unfair, but the fact is, it creeps me out, and I’m probably not the only one. Social gifting via Facebook and other networks has started to change public perception. A small token of appreciation given via Facebook is probably fine, since it won’t require that you know my home address or other vital information, but don’t go overboard.
Let things unfold naturally. That’s the only way a genuine, lasting relationship can begin.
Don’t ask for favors immediately. Nothing says “I’m using you” like friending me, then immediately asking how you should go about getting my close friend, Mr. New Media Celeb, to endorse your forthcoming project. Immediately, I will realize that you only wanted to step over me. That’s not a pleasant feeling, and will actually undermine your ultimate goal of “getting in” with my close friend, who is sure to value my opinion about pitches from “mutual connections.”
Consider how well you know someone before asking for any favors at all. As travel blogger and social media consultant Ann Tran observes, “I’m not automatically your friend when you need your book promoted or reviewed. ”Controlling the influx of pitches is a challenge when you have 300,000 followers on Twitter, as Ann does (@AnnTran_), but she remains open to connecting with people in a genuine way. “Social Media is all about collaborating and cultivating relationships, just like you would in any real-life situation.”
Don’t overstate our relationship. Please don’t send my high-profile friend a request to connect, indicating that you and I are good friends. We aren’t. Calvin Lee, designer, Twitter personality (@MayhemStudios), and Klout phenomenon, has more than 80,000 followers on Twitter, and has some experience with people overstepping boundaries. “They try to friend you online and IRL, talking you up like you’re the best friends in the world. They try getting on your good side by commenting, liking, sharing, or retweeting your posts and updates on all your social networks. “They’ll also friend everyone in your circle of friends on your social networks, adding as many as possible, then try to be their best friend. The next thing you know, this person will have snaked and faked their way into your network.”
I agree with Calvin that frantically friending my friends is a no-no. It’s fine to say that you know me, if that’s the case, and ideally to explain how. For instance, “I met Kerry at the NASA Social in D.C. last week and she had some great things to say about you. I’d love to connect, if you’ve a mind to.” This gives an accurate representation of our connection, and my friend can decide whether or not they want to accept your request based on what they know about you, rather than thinking I’m “vouching” for you without having been asked.
An emoticon is just an emoticon. 
Don’t assume that someone you know on Twitter wants to take the relationship offline just because he or she engages with you or your posts. Actress Casey McKinnon recommends maintaining appropriate boundaries when connecting with the opposite sex on social networks. “The best way not to be creepy online is to treat every female on the internet like she’s your sister… unless you’re into incest, then you should just stay off the web altogether.” So before you send that friend request or ask for a “shout out,” think about how you’d feel if the tables were turned. If you’d be creeped out or annoyed, chances are I will be too.
Kerry O’Shea Gorgone, JD/MBA, teaches New Media Marketing in the Internet Marketing Master of Science Program at Full Sail University in Winter Park Florida. Follow her on Twitter: KerryGorgone
So much for authenticity
May 24th
Authenticity, authenticity, authenticity.
That’s probably the most popular characteristic we prescribe for social web success, and by far the most mis-used, too — and I have an example to show you why.
I attended a social media conference last week filled with a star-studded cast of A-Listers. I was eager to see them in action.
I learned a lot, but one of these super-hyped speakers really disappointed. His presentation was profane, vulgar, and chauvinistic. The content, which gave such tired advice like “be human” and “word of mouth marketing is powerful,” seemed to be just thrown together. It was one of the worst presentations I’ve witnessed in my career.
By the body language of the people sitting around me, I sensed I was not alone in this sentiment. About a dozen people got up and left the room after the first 10 minutes. I stayed to watch the train wreck.
Two interesting things happened next.
First, I checked the Twitter stream, thinking that this guy was about to be impaled by a sophisticated audience. Here is a selection of tweets following his speech:
“XYZ rocked the room! Wow. What a presentation!”
“XYZ just showed why he is at the top of his game. I am blown away.”
“I have seen XYZ speak several times and he keeps getting better and better.”
What??? Really???
Was anybody authentic?
I knew one of the people who Twitter-gushed over his presentation, and I asked her to explain her assessment. This is what she had to say:
“I didn’t really get anything out of the presentation, and yes, I can see that it was offensive. But I was trying to support the conference organizers by tweeting positive things and hopefully getting the conference to trend. I guess I think that if you don’t have anything good to say, why say anything at all?”
The second observation was that there were no public Twitter complaints about the presentation. Not one. I found this mystifying but realized that I had not tweeted anything negative either. I didn’t want to embarrass the hard-working conference organizers. I’m also very aware that I have a very engaged audience and when I tweet something it tends to reverberate, sometimes in unexpected ways. So I do self-edit and try to set a positive tone.
I can imagine when this guy came off the stage and checked the Twitter stream he would conclude that he just gave the best speech of his life. And, in a way, I helped reinforce that, didn’t I?
So much for authenticity , huh?
What authenticity are we talking about here?
It got me thinking about the social dynamics at work. Here is a definition of authenticity:
The quality of being genuine or not corrupted from the original.
Now in this little episode, there was very little authenticity expressed through the sentiments on the social web. I didn’t express my genuine thoughts. My friend didn’t express her genuine thoughts. I’m guessing many people in the room held their true sentiments in check. Ironically the only authentic person in the whole scenario was the speaker, who was authentically ineffective.
So does social media authenticity really mean to be genuine … but only when the sentiment is positive?
I don’t think so. Here is another way to look at it. My friend and I WERE true to our principles and our public agendas. The time wasn’t right to complain or disclose our true sentiments. It would be needlessly hurtful, at least in our judgments.
The “authentic persona?”
While authenticity means being true in every way, that is just an impossible standard and it’s not what people expect any way. I am not going to come on this blog and say “I am farting constantly today” even though that might be congruent with my nature at that moment. Who needs to know that?
As individuals and brands, the best we can hope for is to be authentic personas, an ideal that we display for the world to see. It’s not necessarily true. It’s certainly not accurate. But I believe it as close to “authentic” as we can hope for. Be yourself. Only a little better.
Be who you promise to be to your tribe, not necessarily who you are.
After hearing “authenticity” being drilled into your skull through 90% of the posts you see on the social web, this idea might seem like a shock. But it drives me crazy when I see people demand that we be authentic, when in fact, nobody is. And that’s perfectly OK.
Right?
The most useful blog post ever
May 15th
This is a blog post with a mission and shortly, you’ll see why. I’m going to keep the link to use far into the future and maybe you will too. I think it will save you time and get you out of awkward situations for years to come. Here we go:
Dear Twitter follower:
I enjoy connecting with people and am eager to help my social media friends in any way I can. However, it is a bit awkward when folks ask me to tweet a link, contribute to a charity, review a blog post, read your book, examine your website, review your business strategy, or like a Facebook page when I don’t really know you.
The social web is a weird place. Perhaps you have been following me for some time and maybe you’re even reading my blog. I can see why you might think that you know me. But from my perspective, it is a little spooky to have people I have never heard of pop up and ask me to do them favors. And all these requests add up! If I answered every request from people who want to “pick my brain” I would not be able to feed my family. You see, as a consultant, my time is the only thing I have to sell.
How can we correct this situation?
For people who authentically try to connect with me on my social sphere — commenting on blogs, connecting with me on Twitter, conversing on Google Plus or Facebook — I will enthusiastically and tirelessly help them in any way I can. In fact, I give my time to help somebody almost every single day.
Remember that the social web is about being SOCIAL. It’s about giving. In fact, it’s about giving, giving, giving, giving, giving … and THEN asking. So please get to know me before asking for a favor, OK? I look forward to that because once we’re connected, you never know where it may lead.
Thanks for taking this first step.
Your friendly neighborhood blogger,
Mark Schaefer
A shortened link for your future enjoyment and use : ) bit.ly/GrowByGiving
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-Mark SchaeferFollow Mark
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