Posts tagged witty twitter bios
20 of the world’s most entertaining Twitter bios
Jan 18th
Two years ago I began collecting funny Twitter bios. Clearly, I have too much time on my hands. But I’m constantly amazed at the amount of creativity you can fit into 160 characters … and I think when you read these, you’ll agree! Here are some of my recent favorites:
@crazyadventures
Married to the luckiest man alive. Uh, I mean, *I’m* the lucky one {cough} We have eleventy-billion kids. I wife. I mom. I run. I write.
@SamberLea
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I am joking.
@WillemTait
We are building an empire and I have better hair than Donald Trump. He doesn’t know us from a bar of soap, but will once we develop Tait Towers
@JandTonic
When I’m not seeking therapy for my Xenuphobia (extreme fear of Tom Cruise) I’m curating the world’s most amazing David Hasselhoff fan site.
@markralphs
Analogue at birth, digital by design.
@Pink_Pachyderm
Author, Self Help Satirist, Poet, Comedian, Playwright, Amateur Penis Model. I’m like an astronaut that’s missing my tronaut. Occasionally NSFW.
@gucky
I am a life form evolved to live off movies, comics, video games, junk food and snark. Sadly, I will never be a Ghostbuster when I grow up. I am very gucky.
@daplusk
I’m here to avoid friends on Facebook.
@colleenobrien
My hobbies are breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
@MickeyETC
Wearing the entrepreneur hat this week and starting a new business. great plan of attack but no product yet. a dream told me to find the product in a dream
@TomHanks
I’m that actor in some of the movies you liked and some you didn’t. Sometimes I’m in pretty good shape, other times I’m not. Hey, you gotta live, you know?
@TripGoing
Any combination of my first and last names you can think of, I’ve probably heard.
@AmyWestergren
I’m a Texan with lots of opinions and pretty hair.
@cubanalaf
My Indian Princess name is Too Many Stilettos. Love Pack football, food & fashion. I wish people had a brightness setting.
@SianAMurphy
A Caffeine based life-form
@jennathinks
I’m real and I hope some of my followers are too.
@suupergforce
A force to be reckoned with, I reckon
@zangaroo
In search of sleep, sanity, & The Shire
@donfperkins
Buoyant, waggish, efficacious, indefatigable, demiurgic, convivial marketing companion, self-made thousandaire
@SandyBoynton
Trying to Think of a Motto Since 1973. Cartoonist, children’s author, songwriter, kazooist, and … oh well, out of words now.
@nickvatrerott
If you’re reading this, then I’m already too late. Humanity has reached it’s final days. Please spend all that time tweeting.
If you loved these bios, you would probably also enjoy the previous editions of this series:
20 of the all-time funniest Twitter bios (part 2!)
20 of the all-time best Twitter bios
20 of the world’s most clever Twitter bios
Illustration: I just made that up.
20 of the World’s Wittiest Twitter Bios
Jan 25th
I know you LOVE these funny Twitter bios. Yes, they’re real and they’re fabulous. Here we go!
@organising
Let me bitch at you every day until you sort your shit out.
@Newtoblogging
Maybe I should rethink this, when I spelled it Blooging at first.
@danecook
When I tweet, I tweet to kill.
@maurastl
Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.
@SALJmum
Making the Snuggie look good since 2009.
@fiona_mca
Trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.
@ankurtz
Currently starring in my own reality show titled, A Modern Cinderella; One Girl’s Search for Love and Shoes.
@Maya_Abeille
Generally, the path of least resistance appeals. Also, I am superb at parallel parking.
@DudeGurlz
I’m Kail, I was given a girl’s name when I was a baby because my parents are idiots.
@webbrd
Former military guy & cop. Leprechauns freak me out.
@mdvaldosta
Where the hell am I, and how did I get here?
@bargold
Born at a very young age.
@andrealown
Good Samaritan, washed-up athlete, especially gifted napper.
@gabrielfoley
another papercut survivor
@phampants
Absolutely awkward, proud nerd & geek, decreaser of world suck
@carlosbenevides
Lover of pork, runner (’cause of all the pork)
@jasondill
99% of the time my brain is thinking blah, meh, why, huh, WTF, food and computers. The other 1% i’m usually asleep.
@grbinder (Greg)
Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging
@marcmack
Marc is a man with a dream. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless.
@oldfox004
Winner of World’s Best Wife Award (Category: Nagging)
@pathfinderpat
I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One) Don’t reveal everything.
- Transforming unconscious survival patterns into strategic (authentic) leadership by harmonizing your thinking (IQ), feelings (EQ), communication and actions.
- Life’s so Fun-tastic. Just Be Alive!!!
- Good morning. I behave decently to everyone without any expectation of rewards or punishment after I’m dead.
- Decoding the million wonderful and inspiring stories within the quirky world of accounting.
- I’m fabulous. I’m an incredible dresser, I’ve got buckets of money, I’m a hoot and a half and I got a killer rack.
Take the Mystery Out of Twitter!
Previous funny Twitter bio editions:
20 of the world’s most clever Twitter bios
20 of the all-time funniest Twitter bios (part 2!)
20 of the all-time best Twitter bios
Dec 9th
Twitter biographies might be the ultimate creative-writing challenge. You have 160 characters to spin your personal story! Here are 20 great mini-biographies that caught my eye and stole my heart. Enjoy!
@QueenRania
A mum and a wife with a really cool day job…
@Glinner
I apologise in advance.
@oilman
Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things.
@TheMadHat
Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision.
@AllisonBatof
Naturally and artificially flavoured
@BittrBetty
Just some chick bitching about her effed up life and stuff…
@maxxhendriks
I was born. When I was 11 I got my first computer. Then I started writing funny tweets. That’s still what I am doing. The end.
@RebeccaWoodcock
I am a sample size of one, not statistically significant, nor representative.
@MadsBloggingMom
Smart ass blogging mom. Its all about me, really.
@KRCraft
An ounce of perception – a pound of obscure.
@janefader
I talk like a baby and I never pay for drinks.
@DianaSilvaSays
I love my husband, my dogs, all things marketing, three-day weekends, high-heels, reading, running, knitting, sushi, wine, long walks on the beach…wait, what?
@RainnWilson
I am an actor and a writer and I co-created SoulPancake and my son, Walter.
@PamelaLund
Spreading smiles like they’re herpes
@CKRapp
My life was changed by a train.
@Tweeetstreet
Nothing more than a man who cared enough to try
@EzraButler
I’m the illegitimate love-child of Strategy and Creativity. Now neither parent admits to having me…
@brant
It only ends once. Anything that happens before that is just progress.
@cshirky
Bald. Unreliable. Easily distracte
@snotforprofit
The only person on Twitter who doesn’t claim to be a social media guru.
Take the Mystery Out of Twitter!
, the best-selling Twitter book in the world! Learn the three elements behind every Twitter success, 22 ways to build a relevant audience, strategies to create personal and business benefits, and hundreds of amazing tips and time-savers.Click on the image for a Special Amazon promotion!
Previous funny Twitter bio editions:
20 of the world’s wittiest Twitter bios
20 of the all-time most clever Twitter bios
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