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Klout just got sexy.  And I called this one … Unfortunately.

A year ago in the first article I wrote about Klout (Get Ready. Social Scoring Will Change Your Life), I predicted that social scoring systems would fragment along different demographic lines:

“Forget about Klout scores, there will be competitive rating systems for everything and it will be available to anybody at a push of a button. Wouldn’t it make sense to assign numbers for single people on the dating scene based on user ratings?”

Well, it is happening.  I spit coffee on my computer keyboard when I read this announcement:

CrushBlvd, a startup based in Silicon Valley and purveyor of eye candy, launches a new social networking site for beautiful people. CEO Tina Lee points out the highlights of her new venture, “Looking at and connecting with beautiful people is fun, but it’s hard to find and socialize with them on an everyday basis. CrushBlvd solves this problem by creating a beautiful community that encourages social interaction.”

CrushBlvd uses a Crush score, which combines a Klout score and social networking features into a unique measuring tool, to determine members’ level of influence according to their looks and their ability to engage others. The higher the score represents the higher the popularity and attractiveness of the member.

Lee believes that the best way to connect with beautiful people online is not by another agonizing dating site, but through a pain free social networking site.  “We are proud to have created this wonderful niche, so users can have easier access to connecting with our attractive members regardless of their relationship status,” she said.

Purveryor of eye candy?  Excuse me.  I am going to be sick now.

Congratulations to Tina Lee, who has just cornered the market on vacuity.

And this is just the beginning folks.

Here are my next business model predictions:

PolitiK — Merging Klout scores with political activities. Wouldn’t finding people via influencer topics be an outstanding way to connect with supporters and potential donors? So much easier than recruiting at rallies and you could find backers in every community.

UKlout — Connecting topic influencers on college campuses. Why not do semantic analysis to find people who are like you on your college campus?  A useful tool, especially for freshman trying to find friends.

Teenie Tweetie — Teen agers are civilization’s greatest raters and comparers. When wil they have their own Klout-style rating system?

BOUNCE*Bloggers: Overweight, Under-paid, Neglected, Cuddly, and Erudite. I am the charter member. I’m developing my top secret  algorithm that accounts for girth, income and the number of infographics per tweet.  Very complicated.   I am also working on Bounce Perks. For my Bounciest members, I will send weekly graft from all my rich advertisers.  Once I get them.

Who among you will start these companies?  Who is going to join CrushBlvd and admit it?  Bounce on {grow} community. Bounce on.

*This is a joke. I know humor doesn’t translate across cultures sometimes. So to be clear, I’m not really doing this!

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  • Anonymous


    That is all.

  • Let me be the first one brash enough to say, “I’m joining CrushBlvd.” I admitted it here first!

  • What about iKlout???

    Great startups to come 😉

  • Oh Boy,decisions, decisions. Do I proceed with my face lift, starvation diet and brainwashing session so I can join CrushBlvd,OR sit on the couch eating Crisco and memorizing the Oxford dictionary and writing blog posts to get a high BOUNCE score–your promised perks are very attractive. Hmmm….

    [this, too is a joke. Sorry that I have to announce it, lest it be picked up by my Facebook timeline and harm me when I run for political office]

  • Anonymous

    lol +K-dating, i am just about to launch it lol well unfortunately only members with score of 70+++ will be able to join and date another members LOL and add will be: Dont date beauty, date my Klout 🙂  And yes this is a JOKE 🙂 

  • I’ll join CrushBlvd! Might as well see how the system works, learn from it, etc..

  • But Mark think of the gamification! Think of the poor, balding, fat, lonely men that could be helped! Maybe they could finally move out of their Mother’s basement! Oh, the humanity!

    Hey wait, I am not married. I have a decent Klout score. Maybe I can get a date. Nah, my boyfriend would kill me!

  • Sarah Wood

    I’d like to think it’s an ‘only in america’ story, but it looks like pointless scoring is coming to the Uk too. Today I got 5+K for showing up at klout’s website – the online equivalent of my little girl getting a sticker at school for ‘sitting nicely on the carpet’. How about a site devoted to not-measuring, only people without a klout score can join? It could catch on?

  • Marieg

    Hilarious. DNA wants to replicate. Hope you didn’t spit on a Mac.

  • What happened to the other one? I can’t remember the name of it now, where you could only join if the members thought you were beautiful enough… did it go down… I’ll be back if I can remember the name of it.  I could do with a social site for those of us who can’t remember if we’ve already joined.

  • Pyramid36

    Who do you suppose this “image” is targeted for?  A casual count shows roughly 31 “faces” (people in the “foreground” with recognizable facial features).  Of those only 9 are male.  Only 1 male made to the “front row” and the his face says he’s either soused or can’t believe his luck. 

    I’m not sure what’s up with the 2 “go-go dancers”.  Just another opportunity to put more female “attractors” in the picture. 

    CrushBlvd may be claim to be after elite, beautiful people, but the visual message says something else entirely by aiming at the lowest common denominator : “hey guys, you can hook up with great looking chicks here.” 


  • Looks like you aff to a good start with BOUUNCE. Glad to have a second member : )

  • Actually a 50+ Klout Club did just form in Washington DC for real : )

  • Bring us back a report Christian!

  • Oh that is good.  Love that sticker analogy!

  • Rest assured, it was a PC. : )

  • Good idea. A social site for people with short attention sp

  • The image is thoroughly confusing. They are trying to be an elite site for the discriminating beautiful people with a second-rate photo-shopped landing page … and go-go dancers?  The irony is remarkable. Thanks, Ken!

  • I am wiping the coffee off my keyboard.

  • Welcome to the coffee club : )

  • Hah! Good one, Mark! I especially like BOUNCE. Will a high Crush score be inversely proportionate to depth of personality/character (or did I just answer my own question)?

  • Hah! Good one, Mark! I especially like BOUNCE. Will a high Crush score be inversely proportionate to depth of personality/character (or did I just answer my own question)?

  • This proves, once again that Social Media is bigger than must people think, and has an amazing potential, having Social Scoring can be good, but the question will be how to trust the source of information.

  • Ridiculous! These models are so flawed! When Drunk Hulk [73] has a better chance at joining this group than Miss America [52], we’ve got troubles. That said, I want to be a BOUNCEr. 

  • Wow. That’s. Just. Wrong.

  • We’re seriously edging closer and closer to Gary Shteyngart’s world in Super Sad True Love Story. Shudder.

  • To follow-up on the comment and counts of Pyarmid36, I for one, would not complain if you added 2 go-go dancers to the {grow} site. I wouldn’t understand it, but I wouldn’t complain either.

  • I think we need an algorithm for that. Go for it.

  • Welcome Jen.  Please start working on your girth and cuddliness and report back in a week. I think you have great potential.

  • You’re hired.

  • Unrealistic standards of beauty or beauty in all shapes and forms, inside and out? The latter could be a great Dove campaign.

  • You are a true visionary. In this case, however, you’ve created a vision everyone will need to erase from their minds before too much damage is done. You also made me spill my coffee while laughing. Thanks for that!

  • And spilled my Tulledore all over my ascot!

  • I’d like to say this is a new low for the web, but honestly… the web has sunken to much lower points than this. 

  • Mark W Schaefer

    I’m all about diversity. Besides, word on the street is that you have mad skills.

  • Anonymous

    Crushing on Mark right now. 😉

  • Personally, I’m a big fan of the Crush site. I joined last week and Tyra Banks has friend requested me three times already…not too bad, ehh?

    Just kidding Mark, crazy article, crazy world man.

  • That Tyra.  She can be such a nag.  Between her and Cindy Crawford my phone is ringing off the hook all the time. 


  • … and will continue to do so.  Still waiting for the Jersey Shore Score. 

  • I hate when that happens.  Try a little lime juice.  Keeps my ascot perfect, and I spill a lot at these Klout parties. 

  • Oh my, I can just imagine first dates from now on. Do you delicately try to maneuver the conversation to find out someone’s Twitter ID so you can discover his/her Klout score? Will people have a minimum Klout score for their potential mates? Will that matter more than looks or income?

    “Well, he’s ugly as sin and bankrupt but he has a Klout score of 75. He’s a keeper!”

  • Oh my, I can just imagine first dates from now on. Do you delicately try to maneuver the conversation to find out someone’s Twitter ID so you can discover his/her Klout score? Will people have a minimum Klout score for their potential mates? Will that matter more than looks or income?

    “Well, he’s ugly as sin and bankrupt but he has a Klout score of 75. He’s a keeper!”

  • Too funny!  Thanks for that “insight” Carolyn.  And you know … I actually know somebody who checks Klout scores of potential dates!  

  • I am going to make a cup now so I can spit it all over the keyword too 🙂 

  • I think I better try tea for a change then 🙂

  • That’s more than a little scary. You know what I find appealing? People who don’t know what Klout is. Maybe that’s because I’m married to one. 😉

  • Mark, I don’t know what’s funnier – BOUNCE* itself or having to explain that BOUNCE is a joke 🙂

  • I know you meant this as a joke Mark, but this is really an interesting observation. Seriously! You’ve had many discussions in this blog about measurement as well as endless discussions about the validity of services like Klout and other forms of influence assessment. The one point that continues to emerge is that there is no one “scoring” methodology that fits all needs. Companies have been scoring “us” as users/consumers for years, from many different perspectives (credit worthiness, buying habits, demographic attributes etc,), each from different perspectives but all trying to understand who we are, who we influence, why we do things and most importantly to determine what “we” are likely to do next. Companies are also going looking at “us” socially from the perspective that matters to them. The only way to do this is to develop scoring/measurement systems relevant to their strategies.
    You’ve actually identified an interesting (and quite logical trend here (based on past marketing strategy).
    With the new technologies emerging that can identify a lot about us by more than just our “written word” (like the facebook capability to do facial recognition/identification), what if it was used to analyze our photos and assess our physical attributes, changes over time, apprearance factor etc.?
    The possibilities become endless……..
    Perhaps a new “slogan” for this emerging state is “We are how we’re measured”?

  • Eeew!

  • Why is everyone so surprised? Vacuity is practically considered a virtue in today’s culture.

  • Crush Blvd… clicky like high school, and totally wrong.

    Loved your other suggestions. You make me laugh Mark!


  • Thanks for taking the time to comment Rajka!

  • Pingback: Cupid Transformed | Politically Correct Sports()

  • Lmao!

  • Kenny Rose

    ROFL 🙂 Oh my beautiful klout. This is a revolution espresso, tall, dark, handsome milky froth. 

    Hat Tip Sir Mark of debauchery 

  • Ha! You have a way with words Kenny!

  • So are you going to sign up? : )

  • I’m a sexy beast. Of course I am.

  • I mean duh.

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